4 Weddings And A Funeral Cast: What No One Is Talking About

Posted by Redus on December 29th, 2020

Control and Responsibility

Dear Daughter,

In an earlier letter we discussed the principles of control and responsibility. Releases a little deeper with these crucial concepts.

If you ever find that somebodies habits is driving you nuts, please slow down and think about the possibility of control concerns on your part. Did you understand that it is possible for you to attempt to manage another person and not even understand what you are doing? Its extremely possible. This is a common dynamic in relationships that involve drug and alcohol abuse. This dynamic is typically found in other relationships. It is something you require to understand and understand in order to prevent bad relationships and increase your ability to establish excellent relationships.

Does it upset you when you hear someone gossip. Does it upset you when somebody acts as if they are much better than everyone else, or if someone is disrespectful? These things can be irritating, however if you stay inflamed longer than many other people, stop and think about the possibility of control concerns.

When you are distressed by another persons habits, its usually due to the fact that they are not behaving the way you think they need m weddings and conventions rent to behave. You may understand what the person is doing incorrect and what they must or must not do. It might be clear to you that the individuals behavior is hazardous. If they would only do as you say they would be much better off. You want to assist this individual and it drives you nuts that they will not listen.

Bear in mind that you can not manage another individual. You can make recommendations, but you cant manage the person and make them act as you think they should. The only thing you can control is your own behavior.

A few of your pain may be since you feel responsible for the other persons habits. You may feel ashamed, practically as if it was your habits. Think of this: If you cant control another individuals behavior, how can you be responsible for that habits? You are not responsible. You are just responsible for your own behavior. You can just control your own habits. If another person chooses to chatter, be disrespectful, or abuse drugs/ alcohol, bear in mind that they are accountable for that behavior, not you. You can not require them to stop since you can not control them.

What can you manage and what are you responsible for? You can only control something and you are only accountable for one thing, which is your own behavior. So, what can you do in these circumstances?

It is valuable to stop and believe through the circumstance as it relates to manage and obligation. If you are upset, is it associated to another persons habits? Were you in control of that behavior?

Now that the mind is clear, consider what you can control and what you are accountable for. This would be your own habits. Now you can stop filling your mind with what the other individual is doing and focus on what you can do. This eliminates a burden for you and its far more efficient. You might select to have a discussion with the individual and let them know that what you heard sounded rude or big-headed. They might listen and adjust their behavior, or you may be neglected. In either case, you have thought it through and chosen to act rather than react. You are accountable for your actions and you acted responsibly. Everybody is responsible for their own actions.

What about the individual who feels guilty due to the fact that they made somebody upset? Each person decides how he or she will react to a situation.

Do not get me wrong, I might become upset, but it will be my choice. I am accountable for my own anger. You are not responsible for my anger, but you are responsible for your behavior that I am responding to.

The point is that not only are we responsible for our own actions, however we are likewise responsible for our own reactions and emotions [an exception would be the person who struggles with a mental disorder and a chemical imbalance that impacts the feelings]

Have you ever known somebody who is easily angered? Frequently, the people around this individual bend over backwards and walk on eggshells to keep this individual from becoming angry. There are several things taking place here. To start with, the people around this individual are attempting to control another person. Do you see it? They think that it is finest if this individual does not become angry. They are trying to control this persons feelings by doing whatever it requires to keep the individual from blowing up. The issue is that all of this effort takes a toll on these individuals and they are unpleasant. It is frustrating since they are trying to do the difficult, that is, control another individual.

These individuals are feeling accountable for another individuals feelings. The more the person misbehaves with his or her anger, the more embarrassed the other individuals end up being.

These individuals are enhancing this persons improper anger. All the individual has to do is become angry and everyone scrambles to please him or her.

I am not recommending that you should intervene in these scenarios and intentionally make the person upset, although that might be enjoyable. I simply want you to be aware of the vibrant and not get caught up in the role of attempting to control another person.

I likewise want you to be aware of this dynamic and prevent trying to manage another person or feel accountable for another individuals habits. Understanding the concepts of obligation and control will be important throughout your life time.

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