7 Horrible First Lines That Are Killing Your Outreach Emails

Posted by Robert Spector on June 11th, 2018

http://ceblog.s3.amazonaws.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/01/spam-email.jpgWalking up to a stranger and introducing yourself can be terrifying, whether you’re at a networking event, a party, a conference, or an office function.

I don't think about you, however, I never walk around without a point by point design of what I'll say and how I'll say it. All things considered, individuals frame an early introduction of you in a tenth of a second - so as insane as it sounds, a weak opening line could disrupt the whole relationship.

Be that as it may, despite the fact that I've generally been vital about my in-person opening lines, I just as of late started applying a similar level of thought to my email marketing - a typical sales email mistake. Subsequent, to taking a cold tough look at the starting lines I was using, I recognized few that were thoroughly failing. I hurled them from my collection … and my response rate dramatically increased to double.

Do you want similar outcomes with your prospects? Look at the starting sentences you should never utilize unless you want buyers to erase your e-mails.

 

  1.  “My name is … ”

Names are one of the toughest things to remember - let's be realistic, individuals aren't that intrigued by them. That implies beginning emails with, "My name is Aja Frost, and I'm an account executive for Zone," will send my recipients directly to snoozeville. Besides, it's simple for prospects to make sense of your name on the off chance that they need to. They should simply take a look at the "From" field or email signature. Fortunately, rectifying this error is simple: Just cut this sentence from your message so it presently starts with the second sentence. Your recipient will acknowledge how rapidly you come to the point that matter.

  1.  “I work for … ”

Beginning your message with "I work for so-and-so" is far more bad than beginning with your name. In addition to the fact that it is exhausting and predictable, however, it resembles planting an immense sign in the prospect's mind that says, "I'm attempting to offer you something!!!" Telling the prospect which organization you work for can be valuable. for example, if the organization is outstanding or in the event, that you've met the buyer previously and this detail will help refresh their memory. Be that as it may, you'll need to weave your organization's name in naturally.

  1.  “Did you know … ?”

Some reps try to create urgency by starting their emails with a rhetorical question, for example, "Did you know generally U.S. professionals have an average of 199 new messages in their inbox?" (Yup, that is a genuine detail.) I have awful news for any individual who trusts prospects will read this line and think, 'No, I didn't realize that. Stunning, I better drop everything and work with this salesman!' The usual response is typically around to: 'Ugh’ in the event, that I needed cheesy selling, I'd go watch an infomercial. Erase.' You can utilize appealing details to impart a feeling of urgency yet dropping them in out of nowhere won't get you a reaction. In case you will begin with a detail, ensure that you customize it to the prospect's special circumstance and mesh it into your email naturally. Similar to,

  • "Email marketers like yourself normally struggle to increase their open rates. After all, the average consumer has 300% more unread emails in their inbox than four years ago.
  1. “Congrats on … ”

A trigger occasion - an important, late event that makes an opening for a sales opportunity - is a phenomenal logic to contact a prospect and offer your assistance. In any case, beginning your email with a non-specific "Congrats" is a huge error. "This is an empty, slow opening," he composes. "While I like being complimented on things as much as anyone else, this shouts 'form letter.'"

To make it clear you're not showering and praying, get to the point - extremely specific - with your congrats. For example, rather than "Congrats on getting supported," you could state, "Recently read that you raised .5 million up in Series A funding from Harold and Bloom Investments - congrats! Your plans for growth sound exciting, particularly a venture into the Midwest market." Bonus: That gives you the ideal segue into your next line: "Normally, when organizations move into new regions, they have to get boots on the ground as quickly as time permits … "

  1.  “I’ve been thinking … ”

Your closest friends care about what you’ve been thinking. Your prospects? They do not. So rather than starting off with “I’ve been thinking” -- and immediately coming across as self-interested -- simply flip the statement.

Wrong: "I’ve been thinking about your recent acquisition of Darby Apparel, and … "

Right: "Your acquisition of Darby Apparel on Friday got me thinking … "

The second approach feels considerably less self-serving. Essentially, in light of the fact that it begins by referencing the prospect ("Your") instead of the rep ("I've"). Truth be told, you should to never start an email by discussing yourself - deals messages should be about prospects. On the off chance that you end up saying "I," utilize this inversion trick. Suppose you stated, "I'm also an individual from the Dallas Entrepreneurs group on LinkedIn, and I saw you posted an inquiry regarding Google AdWords." Flip this sentence so it understands: "You posted an incredible inquiry concerning Google AdWords in the Dallas Entrepreneurs group on LinkedIn a week ago." Now the emphasis is firmly on the prospect.

  1. "I hope you're doing well ... "

This line may appear to be fine on the surface - after all, who will be offended by the feeling? But in sales, being bland is the kiss of death.? Be that as it may, in deals, being flat is the kiss of death. Your prospect will most likely quit before the finish of the sentence, which means they'll never get to your interesting inquiry, surprising understanding, or offer to help with a significant test. Rather than utilizing this line, dive directly into your message. Will you spare valuable space, as well as have a far superior shot at getting the buyers' consideration. And if you're feeling like taking a risk? Try a bold opener for example, "I'm stressed over your organization's [ability to do X, a technique for Y, reaction to Z]." If they're not doing great, you have a chance to include a ton of significant value.

  1. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

Sales reps usually utilize this line to catch up with inbound leads who downloaded any content, viewed a video, or went to a website page. The fortunate thing about this line is that it's on time. You're reaching the buyer right at the time they'd like to be contacted by Sales. The awful thing about this line is that it's vague and complicated. What does "find what you're searching for" means, at any rate? Get specific so your buyer knows precisely which opportunity or agony point you're pointing to.

Here are some sample lines:

  • "Did our pricing page have all the details you need?"
  • "Do you feel ready to start a Facebook ad campaign after watching our training video?"
  • "Can I answer any questions about the feedback our job description analyzer gave you?"

The more granular you get, the easier it will be to kick off a productive conversation.

Creating a good first impression with a new prospect can be tricky -- but with these five openers out of the way, you’ll have a better shot. Sometimes, what you don’t say matters as much as what you do.

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Robert Spector

About the Author

Robert Spector
Joined: June 5th, 2018
Articles Posted: 1