Managing Conflict - Hollywood Style!Posted by Whitney Beard on April 29th, 2021 No less than Cecil B. DeMille or Martin Scorcese, you enter control of the movie called "Your Life". Your parents were the main producers, but now you are the boss. You are in control of contract negotiations, script rewrites, casting, and directing. Here are see this page for resolving conflicts and disputes in real life. SHOOTOUT AT THE OK CORRAL (focus on OK) Bugsy Malone is a "gangster" movie by which every one of the characters are kids and also the machine guns consist of marshmallows. If you along with your partner or colleague absolutely need a showdown, load your guns with marshmallows. And set these rules to protect the cast from injury: Limit the scene. This is a discussion about one subject. Stick to that subject. Know your line ... a clear definition of this issue (what's bothering you), how you feel regarding it, and what resolution you want. Dialogue: "Let me show you what's going on with me at night. I'm feeling/concerned about ___, and what I'd like is____." This approach points your finger at you, not each other, and so doesn't invite defensiveness and escalation. Take five. If tempers are escalating, call a short Time Out. Check This Out are not abandoning the other person, just having a break to get power over your reactions and turn them into responses. Respect another player. Be kind. You probably cast each other because you liked the other. HEAD 'EM OFF AT THE PASS! In old Westerns the sheriff cried, "This way, boys! We'll head 'em off with the pass!" The posse cut across, through or around, and sure enough, headed unhealthy guys off. You are able to do the same with conflicts that aren't necessary. Your early warning system lets you know as soon as your Bad Guys are gathering inside. You feel irritable, defensive, hair-triggered. Anger, like some drugs, puts you into the lizard brain. Here are a few techniques to keep with your higher power in cognition and character. 1. Know your cues. article have pet peeves or recurring situations that usually put us on the edge. Maybe it's getting dressed (you're not a morning person), or drive-time traffic. Be aware of the mood and remain ready to respond rather than react. 2. Make those role transitions. Find what works to go you one role (job, work-out, whatever) to another (playful parent, loving spouse). Give yourself to be able to decompress between one pressure as well as the next. Anger is like a tea kettle; when it's gonna boil, you have to ignore heat and pass the time. Costume changes. For some people, just changing uniforms will do gear-shifting. Off while using pin-strip. e or uniform, lets start on the shorts and sandals or sweats. Off while using pantyhose, lets start on the jeans. Background music. In movies it is possible to tell by music cues when changes are about to occur. In real life, find the music you realize can help you set the mood you want. Action! Change your activity, improve your attitude. Exercise, swim, take a walk -- all are good approaches for blowing off steam. Stuntperson. If you just aren't up to the task, hand rid of it for a partner, with the knowning that you may be his or her stand-in as needed. 3. Stop action. We've all seen the science fiction movie or drama in which all of the characters are in freeze-frame except the hero, who can walk among them. It's a stop-the-world moment. You can do that -- just install an imaginary Pause Button in the palm of your hand. Press it if you feel irritation or defensiveness start to rise inside. You produce a breathing space that permits you to to select the following behavior, not be on the mercy of an old script compiled by your seething or martyred Unconscious. 4. Breathe. Take a few deep breaths and exhale slowly. Now count down from 10 to at least one, telling yourself by using each descending number you are getting calmer plus much more relaxed. 5. Big Deal Scale. On a scale of just one to 10, how large an agreement is a slight speed bump about the roadway of life? Which is more important, getting something else checked off your list, or going for a short while to play using your kids or maybe your guitar? Go on, heat a can of soup and spread a sandwich as opposed to making a Big Production Number. 6. Character motivation. If you've got a habit of being defensive, remind yourself that somebody's remark or action probably had not been with regards to you personally. You may be the star of your show, however, you aren't the midst of the universe. 7. Quiet for the set! Sometimes your irritable mood just won't disappear, where case you should (a) inform your spouse and children it isn't about them, and (b) provide them with fair warning to give you some space. Remember the Bette Davis line in All About Eve, "Fasten your seatbelts, kids, it's likely to be a bumpy ride." Follow these Hollywood rules and you'll find yourself starting less conflict, and if you DO engage, it's going to be swift and much less painful than your old way.Like it? Share it! |