The Secret Life of a Clothing ShopaholicPosted by Bachmann Bradley on May 26th, 2021 Yes, I'm a recovering clothing shopaholic. Perhaps you think clothing shopaholics are just women who can't control their urge to invest money on clothes. But that really isn't what the addiction is centered on. There is a big misconception about clothes shopping addiction. So I am going to let you in on the truth about it and tell you all about the secret fantasy life of the ladies who've it. Chrome Hearts Shirt You see, all female clothing shopaholics have one thing in common: WE CRAVE FLATTERY, ENVY, AND COMPLIMENTS ON OUR APPEARANCE EVERY DAY OF OUR LIFE. When we get a compliment or an admiring stare on the way we look, we feel great. And here is another truth about our addiction: most of us have a "female appraiser". A "female appraiser" may be the female in our life that we always imagine envying us and complimenting us whenever we try on new clothes. She actually is the main one we always wear new outfits in front of to obtain appraisal and compliments about how we look. She is the main one who notices every new footwear, every new piece of jewelry, whether our hair looks particularly healthy and attractive that day, and every new item of clothing we have been wearing to the minutest degree. She dissects us physically; she actually is our lifeblood to feeling we exist; by noticing us, envying us and complimenting us; she makes us feel alive. And we are her female appraiser as well. We notice every new item she wears and we comment about how exactly good she looks as well. We often envy her appearance and new outfits. Our relationship may be the mutual symbiotic feeding of our ego envy. Usually our female appraiser is our female mother, sister, friend or coworker who we subconsciously compete and appearance to obtain approval from about our appearance. We always make an effort to upstage her in appearance and make her feel envious folks; we always think about whether what we buy can make her envy how exactly we look before we buy it so when she sees a fresh outfit on us and we feel her envy (of course the best high is when she asks us where we got it) we've our ultimate addictive fix. We even watch how many people notice us a lot more than her when the two of us walk together in public, to learn that we are receiving more attention than she actually is. Yes, it's an "envy/dislike/need of approval dynamic" we have with our female appraiser (or multiple female appraisers) on a complicated physical and emotional level. When I was a clothing shopaholic, I lived for clothes, these were my life passion. I still love clothes. But I am less in need of the power they provide me to be noticed, admired, and envied. The need to look for clothes and imagine wearing them and getting compliments from women when I put them on has taken less of a hang on me. But there was a time when searching for clothes was an essential part of my lifestyle because I lived for the attention and praise those new outfits gave me. I would fantasize when i tried them on in the store and imagine being envied by my female appraiser when I wore them. And once I purchased them, wearing them always made me feel very special and alive when I acquired that attention, envy and praise from my "female appraiser". I always needed to wear something new to be noticed which is why the amount of money was spent; to continually have new clothes to wear so I would continually get compliments and be noticed. When I wore that outfit another time, it wasn't new anymore and no compliments were given because they'd recently been given when I wore it the very first time. So that outfit didn't serve its purpose any more for my addiction unless I wore it before another female appraiser who never saw it before (sometimes I had 3 or even more female appraisers in my own life). On the days I wore an outfit that I received no attention about, I actually felt invisible and depressed. Sometimes just thinking about another new outfit I would wear the next day and how good I'd look and how envied I'd be was all I thought about on those depressing days. It had been the thing that kept me going; imaging that outfit in my own closet and the power it could give me to be noticed and complimented.. I'd fantasize concerning the shoes I'd wear with the outfit and how I'd match my eye shadow to it and the admiration I'd be getting. Because I usually knew exactly what to get and wear that could make my female appraiser envious and wish she had my clothes and got the attention I was geting. And just what a euphoric high that would give me; even considering that happening. Clothing shopaholics have an odd addiction because when you get rid of the women you are feeling competitive with, the addiction loses its hang on you. That's as the addiction is about fantasizing about being envied for the method that you look in clothes. But get rid of the female appraiser, and you don't have the envy and you lose the need to fantasize or look for clothes. Needless to say, eliminating female appraisers in your life isn't easy. So long as you have a mother or work in a corporate office, or have a lady sibling you see, you will have a woman that you experienced assessing your appearance. Even though babysitting my friend's 10 year old daughter, she assessed my appearance by informing me my pants didn't match my top; "the colors were off" she explained. And here I thought I was free from that sort of appraisal from children and could just "throw on sweats and any old top." After all, why care what a 10 year old girl considers how I look when I'm babysitting her? But yes, her comment did bother me, although I stood my ground and refused to change my clothes. Needless to say, she is a budding clothing shopaholic in the making.Like it? Share it! |