Ways to Help Children Communicate Their Feelings

Posted by Vince Taylor on March 16th, 2020

Children are often taught to suppress their feelings by having their emotions dismissed or minimized. How many times have you heard a parent or an adult telling their child to ‘wipe those tears,’ ‘be quiet,’ and that ‘it’s not a big deal’? Denying children their right to feel and express their emotions shows them that their feelings are not important.

As a result, children might even start feeling that they are not worthy, which can open up new issues for them. It is essential to understand that the feelings of children matter and they should be taught how to communicate and manage them in healthy ways.

There are numerous ways that parents can encourage their children to express themselves. Here are a few tips to help your child communicate their feelings better:

1. Share Your Own Feelings with Them

The most effective way of helping your children communicate their feelings is to share your own emotions  with them. Become a role model for them and show them ways they can express their feelings. Make sure that you utilize words they can easily understand.

For instance, tell them that ‘I feel sad that I have to go away on a work trip for a few days. I will miss you,’ ‘I get anxious when all the dishes are not washed immediately,’ or ‘I get angry when no one helps with the house chores.’

This will help them understand what you are feeling and why, which is an excellent way for them to learn.

2. Remind them that It’s Okay to Communicate their Feelings

Practicing mindfulness when it comes to emotions is an integral part of self-care and wellness. Therefore, your kids should know that acknowledging their emotions and expressing them is perfectly normal.

Use statements like:

•  Feeling angry is normal. Everyone experiences this emotion.
•  There is nothing wrong with crying. Often, it is best to let it out.
•  You usually bite your nails when you are anxious. You are biting them right now. Are you worried about something?
•  I am always here to listen to you whenever you are ready.
•  You are raising your voice and slamming doors; it seems you are frustrated or angry. Do you want to talk about it? Is there any way I can help?

Statements like these help validate their feelings, showing them it is fine to feel what they are feeling and that you are there for them. It also encourages them to share more with you freely.

3. Show them Ways to Label their Feelings

Whenever your child is getting frustrated, sad, or excited, it is the right time to label their feelings so that they know exactly what emotion they are experiencing. You can also utilize fun ways of helping them identify different emotions using play cards or games.  

With regular practice, your children will soon be able to recognize their feelings as well as to detect what others are expressing. You can also use statements like “I am feeling ____ because of ____”.

When you label their feelings, it not only helps them recognize what they are experiencing, but they also feel heard. Repeat what they tell you to validate their feelings.

4. Don’t Dismiss their Emotions

It is rather easy to forget that children are also dealing with a ton of complex emotions, especially when you are trying to manage your to-do list. Often, adults dismiss or minimize the feelings of children, and when this happens, they might end up expressing them in unhealthy ways.

5. Come up with Healthy Ways for them to Express their Anger

Feeling angry and frustrated is completely normal, but taking it on others is not. Make sure your children understand that there are healthy ways to express their emotions. For instance, through physical activity like swimming, martial arts, running, or through journaling, painting, or other such activities that can help them calm down.

6. Encourage them with Praise

The best way of encouraging children to adopt a certain habit is to praise their actions. Commend them when they express or talk about their emotions in the right way. Doing this will help reinforce their behavior and ensure that they do the same in the future as well.

7. Maintain a Balance

While it is integral to teach your child how to express their feelings, you must also show them the importance of respecting and regarding the feelings of others. Try addressing their problems constructively and allow them time to communicate their perspective and close the matter without letting it escalate.

Children experience a whirlpool of emotions, just as adults do. They get stressed, overwhelmed, angry, jealous, happy, and excited. However, they don’t know how to express their feelings the right way. Often, they are unable to comprehend what they are feeling. Therefore, teaching them how to communicate their emotions and show them ways to deal with them should be a crucial part of their upbringing and overall wellbeing.

If your child is facing difficulty in expressing and managing their emotions, you should opt for professional counseling, especially if you suspect they might be experiencing depression, anxiety or other mental health issues. Giving them the right help early on will give them the chance to learn healthy coping ways that will help them throughout their life.

Author Bio

Mike Samar is a trained counselor at Mind Wellness Counseling providing evidence-based holistic approaches and guidance for people. He helps identify the main issues and creates actionable steps to help individuals make a positive change in their lives.