Where Will Civil Wedding With Foreigner Be 1 Year From Now?

Posted by Avelina on December 28th, 2020

Control and Responsibility

Dear Daughter,

In an earlier letter we discussed the ideas of control and obligation. Lets go a little deeper with these crucial ideas.

If you ever find that someones behavior is driving you nuts, please slow down and consider the possibility of control issues on your part. Did you know that it is possible for you to attempt to manage another person and not even be aware of what you are doing? It is something you need to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bliLA7qnBDo know and understand in order to avoid bad relationships and increase your capability to establish great relationships.

Does it upset you when you hear someone chatter. Does it upset you when someone acts as if they are better than everyone else, or if somebody is rude? These things can be annoying, however if you remain irritated longer than most other people, stop and think about the possibility of control issues.

When you are distressed by another individuals habits, its typically because they are not acting the way you believe they need to behave. It may be clear to you that the individuals behavior is harmful.

Bear in mind that you can not control another person. You can make recommendations, however you cant control the individual and make them behave as you think they should. The only thing you can control is your own behavior.

Some of your pain might be since you feel accountable for the other persons habits. Think about this: If you cant control another persons habits, how can you be responsible for that behavior? If another person selects to gossip, be rude, or abuse drugs/ alcohol, keep in mind that they are responsible for that habits, not you.

What can you manage and what are you responsible for? You can just control one thing and you are only accountable for one thing, which is your own habits. So, what can you perform in these circumstances?

It is useful to stop and think through the scenario as it relates to control and duty. Are you upset? If you are upset, is it related to another individuals behavior? Were you in control of that behavior? Were you accountable for that behavior? If not, then put that burden down. Take the weight off of your shoulders and feel the relief! It is always valuable to clarify what you are and what you are not in control of, and what you can and can refrain from doing.

Now that the mind is clear, think of what you can control and what you are responsible for. This would be your own habits. Now you can stop filling your mind with what the other individual is doing and concentrate on what you can do. This removes a concern for you and its a lot more productive. You might pick to have a discussion with the person and let them understand that what you heard sounded disrespectful or conceited. They may listen and change their habits, or you may be ignored. In any case, you have believed it through and selected to act instead of respond. You are responsible for your actions and you acted properly. Everyone is accountable for their own actions.

What about the person who feels guilty since they made somebody angry? Does it upset you if someone becomes angry? I expect that lots of people would feel some feeling. However, each person chooses how he or she will react to a scenario. Sometimes they offer it some thought and act, and sometimes they react with little idea.

Don't get me incorrect, I might end up being upset, however it will be my choice. I am responsible for my own anger. You are not accountable for my anger, however you are accountable for your habits that I am responding to.

The point is that not just are we responsible for our own actions, but we are also responsible for our own reactions and feelings [an exception would be the person who struggles with a mental disorder and a chemical imbalance that affects the emotions]

Have you ever understood somebody who is easily angered? Typically, the people around this individual bend over in reverse and stroll on eggshells to keep this individual from blowing up. There are several things taking place here. First of all, the people around this person are trying to control another individual. Do you see it? They think that it is finest if this person does not become angry. They are attempting to control this individuals feelings by doing whatever it takes to keep the individual from blowing up. The issue is that all of this effort takes a toll on these individuals and they are unpleasant. It is annoying due to the fact that they are trying to do the difficult, that is, control another person.

These people are feeling accountable for another persons feelings. The more the individual misbehaves with his or her anger, the more ashamed the other people end up being.

These individuals are enhancing this individuals inappropriate anger. All the person has to do is blow up and everybody scrambles to please him or her.

I am not recommending that you ought to intervene in these scenarios and purposefully make the individual angry, although that may be enjoyable. I simply want you to be aware of the vibrant and not get caught up in the function of trying to control another individual.

I hope that this is not complicated. I am telling you this to, hopefully, prevent confusion. I also desire you to be familiar with this vibrant and avoid trying to manage another person or feel responsible for another persons habits. Understanding the principles of responsibility and control will be valuable throughout your lifetime.

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d4q0zNoYYxY]