Addiction: What You Can and Cannot Control
Posted by Care Addiction Center on January 7th, 2021
Drug addiction, according to the American Psychiatric Association Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders is a chronic and relapsing disease characterized by drug seeking behaviors and loss of control over drug intake.
For many in <a href="https://www.careaddiction.com/">addiction treatment</a> and recovery, that sense of loss of control is a really hard concept to accept. Clients often say “it was my choice to use substances”. Early on in recovery, it is difficult to accept that their substance use has no longer become a choice. Addiction treatment aims to help clients understand that although they may not have control over their substance dependence they do have control over their addiction recovery.
The concept of control is a recurring theme throughout recovery. In Alcoholics Anonymous the first step is - admitting that one was powerless over alcohol and one’s lives have become unmanageable.
Another helpful aid is the serenity prayer - God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
In recovery, identifying things that you can and cannot control is a valuable skill to learn to help avoid relapse.
<b>Knowing the Boundaries of What You Can and Cannot Control</b>
At one point or another everyone feels the pull to control some aspect of their lives. In a world where everything is at your fingertips, it is hard to wait for life to unfold whatever master plan is in wait for us. The uncertainty drives us even further into trying to control even the tiniest details of our lives and a lot of times those around us.
It’s thought if we have control over situations or our surroundings that we are less likely to be disappointed by ourselves and others. Actions we take create our own reality and perceptions of how we think our surroundings should be.
Controlling our surroundings fosters feeling stuck, increasing the desire to escape the unwanted feeling(s). In recovery those feelings could be a contributing factor in relapse.
<b>Examples of What We Can Control Vs What We Cannot</b>
The most important thing to know is that we cannot control others although you can control your responses to them. By increasing self-awareness you can control how to effectively and appropriately interact when conflicts arise.
In recovery it may also be wise to evaluate the company kept. If someone is a negative influence in your recovery it may be wise to limit or cease interacting with them until you feel more secure in your recovery.
Yes, it's true that you cannot control our feelings but we can control how we act in accordance with those feelings. Identifying our feelings and needs will help in setting goals and creating a plan to overcome unwanted feelings. Likewise, craving and urges to use substances may arise unwarranted; by identifying triggers you can create a plan to prevent a relapse from occurring.
Lastly, you cannot control nature but you can control how you prepare for it. Good and bad days will ensue. You cannot prepare for every circumstance that may arise but you can take action in supporting physical and mental health so when something unforeseen happens we know the proper self care techniques to help alleviate the impacts.
In recovery it is wise to have a sober support system in place to help you through stressful life events.
<b>Overcoming That Which We Cannot Control</b>
Acceptance : Recovery is a journey, one that takes time and effort. By accepting the current stage of life we are in we will be able to find clarity and balance. Harboring anger, guilt and resentment will only stifle personal healing and growth. Acceptance allows you to remove the barriers and mental hang ups that addiction confined you in.
Self care: Taking care of physical and mental health. Talking to trusted support, keeping appointments with medical professionals and proper diet and exercise help to reduce unwanted stressors.
Set goals: Have a plan for how you will respond to negative events or life stress.
Make a list of the things you can control: Identify what control means to you. What are some things in your life that you can control( routine, sleep, diet etc). How can you improve those areas to decrease desire to control things that you cannot change.
Make peace with your past: If you're always looking in the past it’s inevitable that eventually you could slip back previous unwanted behaviors. Forgive yourself, make amends and keep moving forward.
Allow yourself grace: Not everything can be done/fixed immediately. Recovery is about creating little changes overtime that help you build the foundation to sustain long term recovery.
Implementing these elements will help you feel more in control of the things you can and free from the desire to control what you cannot. This freedom affords you the ability to have a balanced life free from the control of addiction.
If you or a loved one need help and want to know more about <a href="https://www.careaddiction.com/">addiction treatment services</a>, call us at: (630) 402-0144.
