4 Questions to Ask Before You Say "I Do"
Posted by Nick Niesen on October 27th, 2010
"How do you know when you've met the right one??
1) What is This Person's Core Values?
For example: Jerry's core value is adventure. When Jerry starts to date Diana, he happens to be volunteering at the local Emergency Room. He goes there every night, holds people's hands, calms them down. And Diana is thinking to herself that Jerry must have a heart of gold if this is how he's spending his spare time. Now, Jerry might really have a heart of gold. But he's volunteering because of his love for adventure. The ER is filled with action, it's exciting. So right now, Jerry's adventurousness happens to be expressing itself in a kind way. But that could change. Jerry might stop volunteering, and start trying other adventures that Diana may find unpleasant, dangerous, or even unethical.
However, if Jerry's core value is a commitment to goodness and caring, then everything he does will rotate around that, including his marriage. And Diana will be a very lucky woman if she marries him.
So how do you get to know the true Jerry? Surprisingly, it's not that difficult. No matter what a person's core value is, you will see him or her sacrificing for it on a daily basis. If Jerry's core value is adventure, then he might risk an accident in order to speed through an intersection or arrive late at work because he followed a police chase. If Diana follows him carefully, she'll see that he places adventure above other important things on his list of priorities. But if Jerry's core value is goodness, then Diana will see him give up on certain things in order to be kind. If the waiter mixes up his order, he'll say thank you and eat the dish anyway. He'll let the other guy cross the intersection first, or he might be late to work because he drove a little old lady home with her groceries. If Diana follows him carefully, then she'll see him let go of some of his own desires in order to take care of other people.
So look for someone who is committed at the core to a higher set of values that you can appreciate.
2) Does This Person Treat Others Well?
Ask yourself questions like these and take note of the answers - because they reflect characteristics that will come out down the line. Most people don't guard themselves so carefully that they'll hide how they treat others. So watch them, and you'll know how they're going to treat you after you're married.
3) Do We Communicate Well With Each Other?
Although on an occasional basis this can happen to anyone, if it's happening constantly then it's not a good sign because that may not change. If you're constantly misunderstanding each other, then you might want to put this relationship on hold for a while.
4) Are We Physically Attracted to Each Other?
So there you have it. The next time you date someone, put what you've learned here into practice. It'll save you a lot of time and heartache, and you might find yourself walking down the aisle faster than you think.
About the AuthorNick Niesen
Joined: April 29th, 2015
Articles Posted: 33,847
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