Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Conflict ManagementPosted by Pacheco Kruse on February 4th, 2021 At the broadest level, we define our identity by two things: -Who we have been - our personality, our beliefs, values etc. -What we do - our actions, behavior, etc. We want others to just accept us the best way we have been and to simply accept the way in which perform things. When either of those expectations is challenged, there is conflict. Usually it's a play for power - sometimes you can find other reasons... All of us are unique - residing in our very own slice of the world, imagining our perceptions and our beliefs being absolute. Let's call these slices Reality-Slices, because that sounds really neat. Reality-Slices can be a bit like multiple dimensions within the same space, conveniently invested in each human so that they reach feel important they have their particular amount of Reality-Slice estate. When Reality-Slices intersect as people bond head-on, there is some friction. We label this conflict. When the Reality-Slices are aligned a bit better, we call that collaboration. Conflict isn't the the complete opposite of Collaboration. In many cases, it's simply an earlier stage inside the relationship. Remember the storming stage in teams? It can 't be a surprise to you personally there are generally 2 types of conflict: Don't be similar to this - in connection with others having an trouble with who we're Don't try this - associated with others through an problem with what we all do or how perform it If you are still surprised that these will be the only 2 types of conflict, get back to a sluggish start this to see the first few lines again. Avoidance So now you ask: if conflict can be so commonplace and natural, how come we skirt around conflict and prevent it like the plague? Well, you will find basically two reasons: -You shouldn't get rid of the mask - when there exists conflict, the friction can generate feelings of resentment, irritation and rejection. Rather than disclosing such real feelings, people have a tendency to either prevent the conflict situation or pretend all is ok and in check. In some cases, people use withdrawal to shield themselves. -You wouldn't like negative consequences - people worry that conflict and conflict escalation might cause damage to a relationship, to organization morale, on the status quo. More importantly, this could then result in negative personal consequences. In organizations, a normal situation is the place managers avoid confronting staff on performance issues because they wouldn't like to damage the connection or their popularity as a manager. There is also check out the post right here how the conflict may stir up a hornet's nest of other conditions. Conflict Triggers Knowing that conflict is a result of friction between Reality-Slices is a useful starting insight however it is now time for you to take a look at more closely in the surface the location where the friction happens - zooming in around the specific triggers of conflict. Let's return to the fundamental kinds of conflict: a) Don't be similar to this Here the main conflict triggers are Expectations of Behavior and Expectation of Values. check out here of this are "You are certainly not anyone I was hoping you'd be" or "I felt choosing somebody who understands the value of time but I am really disappointed". We really want other people to work as we might want them to and adopt a persona we craft on their behalf. When they don't, we have upset. b) Don't do this Usually the key conflict triggers listed below are depending on Expectations of Process and Expectations of Results. Examples of this are "I asked you to definitely come up with an investigation depending on demographics; why have you utilize a geographic perspective?" or "well the immediate financials are essential however for heaven's sake when shall we be going to have a look at the bigger picture". You see, people derive their feeling of how a process should work and where it leads to in the vantage point of their very own Reality-Slice. This can lead to differences in perspective and vision - the line-of-sight from my vantage point within the organization (say in HR) could be very different from your line-of-sight for an additional person (say in Finance). Bottom Line - The So-What? Conflict is commonplace - read this article and be aware of it. Whenever there is possibility or occurrence of conflict, takes place understanding of the main element conflict triggers to allow for people to adopt postures that lead to better alignment of Reality-Slices. So for instance, when developing a team, to lessen the opportunity of unnecessary friction, your most important work will likely be defining expectations of behavior, values, process and results. Now you realize all that you wished to learn about conflict management - Let us hope it will likely be enough for the next conflict...Like it? Share it! More by this author |