Dating Tips ? Use Your Friends

Posted by Nick Niesen on October 27th, 2010

Having friends is a valuable gift that must be cherished on a daily basis. I?m not talking only about your best friends, the ones you call when you?re in trouble, or when you need to share your deepest thoughts and fears, I?m talking also about your buddies, your colleagues, your acquaintances, and all these people you might enjoy hanging out with once in a while.

How does this relate to dating?

Well, once you are out in the singles market, these people become an important asset, you should start looking at them not only as your friends but also as your free dating services. Not only that one of them may be single and suitable for your exact desires, but also each and every one of them have their own circle of friends in which there are certainly other singles who are looking for someone like you to have a relationship with.

There are two ways of accomplishing this ? the first way is the direct way, which means literally asking your friends to be the matchmakers and set you up on a date with one of their friends.

The second option is starting to hang out with these friends and hopefully through their group hangouts (birthdays, holiday parties, etc.) you will get familiarized with their ?goods?.

The main disadvantage of the group hangouts method is that it might seem abit odd if you?ll start tagging along to every party with one of your colleagues to whom you never said nothing but ?hello?. Also it will take longer for you to get to know all of the new friends and find out who is single and suitable for you. These problems may be easily solved if you directly approach your friend and simply ask him \ her if they can set you up on a date with someone.

The main disadvantages of the direct way are of course making your friend feeling very uncomfortable, not having anyone to set you up with, or maybe not wanting to?

The second disadvantage is that it wouldn?t work.

Instead of having to avoid your friend for the rest of your life, make sure you don?t say or do anything inappropriate during the date that may insult your date or your friend, and remember that the person you went out with is not your friend and that it?s not his \ her fault it didn?t work out. On the contrary ? feel grateful that friend was thoughtful enough to set you up with somebody and caring for you private life and happiness.

The main advantage of dating a friend?s friend is the flow of information. You no longer have to torment yourself after the date, pondering whether he \ she liked you, when to call and what to do next. One phone call and you?ll have a familiar voice answering all the questions you have. You have to remember, of course, that it goes in both directions, and that every impression you had is immediately passed to the other side. This convenience may be excellent in the early stages, when communication is doomed to be lacking and problematic. But if the relationship succeeds and you go on dating, you have to cease the informing duty of your mutual friend, and concentrate in creating your own and healthy means of communication.

Summing up ? dating through friends is the safest way when it comes to the person you date with, but it?s the most risky way when it comes to your personal loss. The idea is to understand that when you are dating someone, the dynamics will always be different from the one you have with your friends, and you shouldn?t blame you friend for trying. On the other hand, if it succeeds, not only you?ll have the joy of having a wonderful relationship, but also I?m sure you will make your friend very proud of his \ her matchmaking skills!