Dating Advice: 5 Biggest Internet Dating Mistakes
Posted by Nick Niesen on October 27th, 2010
Dating after a divorce is tough. You don?t quite know where to start so here are a few internet dating mistakes and their solutions.
Too much too soon ? It is so tempting to put all your focus on one person at a time when you are looking to date on the internet. But it is important to remember that not only are all those people out there looking at numerous people at any one time but you could be too. If you put most of your time and energy into any one contact at a very early stage this means that you cannot scout, screen and sort other possible people. Dating Advice: Don?t make a big investment emotionally in any relationship without solid foundations.
Throwing money at it - Recent research has revealed that online daters are spending up to £1,500 a month taking out people who they realise, after the first 15 minutes are not for them. (Independent, June 2005) Remember be authentic, the packaging is only that and is not who you are. Meeting for a cup of coffee or a drink will give you enough time to assess whether this person is someone you want to know better.
Thinking you know this person ? We can easily be seduced by email conversations and late night telephone calls. Apart from the actual chemistry that is missing in these exchanges there is that part that you know very well yourself, where you just reveal what you want at any given time. If you know what your requirements are in a relationship this will help you assess quite quikly if this person is for you. Most of us allow things to just drift along and are not pro-active in having a plan for ourselves when it comes to relationships.
Fantasy ? it?s only in your head ? It is very easy to live in the fantasy of a relationship even from a very early stage. After all that is why you have signed up on the dating site in the first place ? you want a relationship. However, being truthful with yourself is easier if you have a relationship plan. Then you can ask yourself, from the information you have so far, does this person tick some of my boxes. If so then you can continue to find out more about them whilst finding out about other people at the same time. Projecting onto any one person, especially at a very early stage, all you hopes and dreams is likely to bring you some amount of pain and heartache when you find this isn?t going to work out.
Not paying enough attention to the signals ? it is amazing how quickly we can get ourselves into habits and relationships, however new, are one of those areas. We all like attention and contact with people but what about the rest of your life, those friends who have been around for you, your family. Anyone who might be for you will, you hope, want to share life with a person who has a balanced life and that includes all the other activities and people in your life. Straining towards exclusivity at a very early stage and throwing all your time and attention towards the relationship can be a disaster.© 2006 Trisha Stone
About the AuthorNick Niesen
Joined: April 29th, 2015
Articles Posted: 33,848
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