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Is Love at First Sight Real - SexyInsightswithDrZ

Love at first sight appears to be just quite strong physical grip at first sight. Hi, my name is Dr. Zana. They, I wanted to talk to you about a phenomenon that is very well familiar. We're to almost anyone in the Western world and outside, but you may have experienced that yourself. And even if you haven't, you've probably heard of it and know of it love at first sight, right?

That's something that has been a thing for a very long time. It's been portrayed in the arts and literature for at least 3000 years. And today something like one in three people in the Western world say that they've experienced that. At least once that basically they met someone and the first time they met them, maybe not in the first second that they met them, but the first time they met the maybe spent however much time they spent together and they experienced the love at first sight.

So we know that. People report this. We also know that it's kind of a good thing for a couple, that if you ask couples and established couples that who have been, that have been dating for a while, and if you ask them, did your relationship start with love at first sight or not?

And then those who don't remember having begun with love it for websites. Thus, you know, it feels like it might be a good point to have a connection start this manner. But We don't really much know about what this is really love.

They kind of retroactively. Tend to reinterpret what happened at their first meeting.

They they're basically projecting their very strong feelings of love, uh, currently to what they were experiencing or feeling back when they met. So, uh, there is a new study that recently got published in the academic literature that looked at Lubbock for sight and how common it may be when people meet somebody.

Is there different types of love that people can experience? Probably the most. Commonly used conceptualization of love is Robert Sternberg's triangle, triangular theory of love.

And according to the triangular theory of love it, it's just that basically there are three components that can make up love, passion, intimacy, and commitment. Intimacy is the mutual kind of opening up sharing emotional closeness attachment that you can feel for somebody that you're, that you're close with passion is that right?

Yeah. To be with somebody to be in a relationship and continue a relationship with someone.

So for example, the, the, the, the, the love that we all strive to achieve in our romantic relationships is the one that has very high levels of all three of passion, intimacy, and commitment, and that we call consummate love. All right then, but, but unfortunately we don't always have that at our intimate relationships, whether at the beginning or later on, we end up in relationships that may have a little less of some of those components than other components.

For instance, a very common experience for a lot of people is that which we call companion at love. The love which has high intimacy, high dedication. This is someone that you feel quite closely connected to very committed, to staying in a connection with, however there's not a great deal of passion. And that very often happens to amorous relationships over the years after people have gone , you know, a few years or maybe decades of, of being together and the passion has kind of subsided, but the closeness and commitment have remained high.

Another type of love is empty love, for instance, that has high devotion. To be with somebody, but no passion, no familiarity. For instance, uh, arranged marriages when they begin. They are able to have this, this quality because these people don't really know each other. They can possibly have a lot of intimacy. They don't necessarily have a lot of passion.

They may have never been observed each other before seen each other without lots of, you know, passion, sparks, uh, occurring, but their families have. Decided they ought to be together. They have committed to obeying their family's fantasies and they're very dedicated to staying together and constructing a family together and all that, though there's 's no passionate intimacy, that doesn't mean that that passionate intimacy can't happen afterwards.

But in the start, it's 's exactly what we call empty love. Okay. These are some of the types. Again, you have nine different combinations. If you understand, these two are low or high, and this can be low and, and, and so on, but. If we're thinking about what love at first sight may be. It's kind of unlikely that you would have high closeness.

It's also kind of unlikely that you'd have high commitment because those items usually take a very long time to develop. They're not instantaneous. On the other hand, the fire component could be potentially instantaneous. You see someone and then the fire element is sexual appetite mixed in with. George someone appealing or which you find attractive mixed in with all the halo effect that we add to appealing people.

The, the halo effect of positiveness we add to people we believe are hot. Like people, for no specific reason other than those people are sexy. We think they're also fantastic people and intelligent and capable and pleasant and caring and compassionate and blah, blah, blah, all these other items we have a tendency to assign to fine people, even when they overlook 't deserve it, just because they're good looking so.

That initial passion could potentially be a combination of these things. So maybe what we're seeing in love at first sight is this very high passion, relatively low intimacy and commitment, which is also the infatuation type of love that people experienced in the early stages of love. When they're just kind of getting to know each other when there's really high craving.

Four. So high passion, high sexual desire, high, high craving for closeness with this person, even though you don't necessarily understand each other really well. Hence that the closeness and the commitment to be with each other isn't in a super high degree. So, alright. All this is, is an intro into, uh, this study that was looking at.

What type of qualities does that experience of love at first sight possess and how equal is that to the love people report towards long-term spouses? So what this group of Dutch researchers , they studied, um, nearly 400 Dutch and German young people. Across three distinct studies in the initial two research participants were presented with photos of six to nine people they were supposed to imagine meeting in a speed dating event.

And then they asked the answer to exactly what extent did they felt love at first sight and the three love components towards each of these photos and also to potential real people. And then those participants that were in long-term relationships were also requested to report how much love and, and across these three components, they believed for their existing spouse.

And then in study three, the researchers really organized. Three distinct real life dating occasions. One was a traditional speed dating event. One was a bar hopping event where a bunch of these new people who were likely to meet each other, uh, when from bar to bar and invested I don't know, like an hour or 20 minutes to something at, um, at the different, um, at the different bars, getting to know each other.

And then there was another kind of social gathering event where people kind of met new people over food and drinks and. Yeah, these, these were all single participants that got to meet other participants who were hopefully looking for, uh, partners of some kind interacted with them for a little while.

And then they answered the same questions about whether they experience love at first sight and also the, the different components of passion, intimacy, and commitment, and that they felt towards each of the people that they got to interact with personally. So across the three studies across the almost 400 participants that they had, um, asked both the online and the offline studies.

Love at first sight was reported 49 times by 32 different individuals that makes up about 8% of the total sample of participants because right. People could have, um, in each study participants. So, uh, photo photos of, uh, of, um, more than one person or interacted in real life with more than one person. So they could have potentially experienced love at first sight or thought they experience love it for side for more than one person.

So. They, um, about 8% of the participants experienced love at first sight. And remember for some of these people, all they did was they just saw a photo of someone and were asked to imagine meeting this person at a speed dating event. Whereas some of these other people actually met people in person and got to interact with them in person, but even so it's pretty remarkable that even at this very basic level of.

Knowledge or interaction with somebody else, even through just a photo. Seeing a photo of them is enough to trigger the sense of love at first sight in a small percentage of participants in this particular study. So some people definitely feel love it for side, for someone that they barely know. Yeah. An interesting side note and perhaps a sad side note is that of all of those people in the, in the real life interaction study that reported opowiadanua bdsm love at first sight for somebody that they interacted with, none of those was reciprocated.

So none of those people also said that they had experienced love at first sight for the person who experienced that for them. So, um, no crazy sparks on both sides mutually, uh, were, were, uh, started