Self Help Tips - What Does Self Help Really Mean?Posted by Haugaard Ochoa on April 26th, 2021 In modern day usage, self-help really identifies a process concerning people's own personal development or self growth. The nice side of this is that it leads to people trying to notice who and what they're, and pursuing avenues which will help them are more rounded and happy people. The downside of this is twofold. Firstly there's such a wealth of literature available, and also seminars, groups etc, that there surely is almost an excessive amount of information available. Therefore for people to actually make good choices about what constitutes self-help for them can be incredibly difficult. Often this can be a procedure for simply ploughing through stuff and using a gut instinct to determine whether it will be of great benefit to you or not. Another, more subtle downside of present day self-help literature is that it's constantly telling people they have to improve in order to be OK. This is the pivotal selling point for some literature and seminars etc. In many ways this can be a very damaging approach, since it is actually the opposite of what helps people grow, that is a level of unconditional self-acceptance. The self-help industry is no different in lots of ways to other industries. It really is continually telling people what they have to do and how they need to do it to become who they want to be. There is a plenty of valuable information contained in this literature, and an awful amount of drivel, depending on your perspective! There is a truism to the saying, that self growth is really about self acceptance not about self improvement. This may initially seem a contradiction but it is not. If someone can truly accept themselves because they are, not as they think they must be, then actually they will feel a level of emotional security and safety that will allow them to heal whatever it is that is blocking them and subsequently change. If people feel a perpetual need to change and become different so as to feel a level of self acceptance, or acceptance by other people, then life becomes a permanent treadmill that they can never get off. This treadmill will take them further away from the person they are, and will actually make it less likely they will ever really change. People will be continually attempting to become acceptable, largely based on what other people think about them. Real freedom and security originates from within, and core to that is a level of unconditional self acceptance or unconditional love. Unconditional love is really a phrase often used, and will probably be worth considering as a basis for several types of self-help work. Perhaps the most important thing to discover is that unconditional does indeed mean unconditional. When applied to one's own self, this basically means being willing to accept who you are, unconditionally, whether you like it or not. Only this level of self acceptance will really free people to be able to develop a level of self-awareness, free of judgement about themselves, and subsequently be at peace with themselves and other people. A word about judgement - judging oneself or other people is an absolute death wish in terms of self acceptance. Judging other people is normally a reflection, in a few ways, of judging oneself. Self judgement will teach you to disown your own emotions and feelings as not being real, either because they are not very pleasant feelings, or as you do not want to have them. Either way it means it really is impossible that you should accept yourself as you are because you do not wish to be this way. Self acceptance means unconditional love of self. introvert is a gut level feeling of realising that it's okay to be you who ever you're. Once so when you have that, you are truly free to love yourself along with other people.Like it? Share it! More by this author |