The psychologist’s guide to easy weight loss for midlife men

Posted by Augustus Cai on June 17th, 2021

We’re fast turning into the world leaders in obesity. According to The Health Survey for England 2017, the levels of obesity in England have nearly doubled since 1993 (from 15 per cent to 29 per cent) and 35.6 per cent of adults in England are classified as overweight.

And it gets worse as you age. Between the ages of 45 and 64, this figure rises to 39 per cent.

Obesity rates among British men, meanwhile, are the highest in Western Europe. In 2017, the European Society of Cardiology ranked British men as the most obese in a study of 47 countries.

Obesity in midlife men presents all manner of medical issues: hypertension, high cholesterol, respiratory problems. They are also more likely to develop type 2 diabetes at a lower body mass index (BMI) than women and evidence from Cancer Research shows that obesity is the biggest cause of cancer after smoking. In 2017, meanwhile, a study by University College London discovered those with a higher BMI are also more likely to have dementia in later life. The list is endless, and the dangers all too real.

But losing weight when you hit midlife isn’t easy. With testosterone levels waning, it becomes more difficult for men to build muscle, as well as burn calories, which means you’re more susceptible to fat building up around the stomach and chest.

Even more challenging is the middle-age mindset, says Dr Andreas Michaelides, chief of psychology at health app Noom. “Middle age is a transitional one where you begin to focus on yourself again after all the years of working hard, building up a career and starting a family,” he says. “But it’s also the time to focus on things like your weight, which perhaps you haven’t been paying attention to.”

The secret, says Michaelides, is to start small, “because you’re not the same person you used to be.” If you’re starting to exercise again, for example, don’t put pressure on yourself to do it each and every morning. Be realistic. Make a plan and prepare for the activity you intend to do.

Maintaining motivation can also prove challenging, especially if you are not seeing results. “It’s one of the most difficult aspects of trying to lose weight after a period of being overweight,” says Michaelides. “But you have to build on the small successes. And once you go from that external feeling of doing something because you have to do – to tick it off your list – to a more internal feeling of doing something because it makes you feel good, you’re well on your way.”

In 2016, an ONS survey found middle-aged men to be the least happy group in society, with anxiety commonplace and a low level of satisfaction with their life. That might go some way to explaining why men in the age bracket 45-64 are, according to NHS Digital research, most likely to be overweight or obese.

“There is a relationship between stress and weight gain but it’s more than physiological,” explains Dr Michaelides. “That part of your brain that allows you to plan and deal with challenges shuts down when you’re stressed, so addressing your stress levels is very important to successful weight loss.”

‘If I want a doughnut I take myself through a mental checklist – am I craving sugar, or just really tired?’
Adham Abdulraheem, 37, is an A&E doctor in Manchester. In August 2020, he weighed 19st 3lbs. Today he weighs 14st 4lbs

As a doctor I am only too aware of what being overweight can do to your health and, certainly, my weight was affecting every aspect of my life, both personally and professionally.

I haven’t always struggled with my weight so I can’t blame genetics. In fact, one of the main reasons I wanted to lose weight was to go back to the way I used to be. When I was at university and in my 20s I was fit and sporty.

On January 6 this year I weighed myself and I was the heaviest I had ever been in my life. I’ll never forget the day. We were quarantining and I realised I couldn’t even play with my kids without being out of breath.

I’ve managed to lose weight a couple of times before, the last time being in 2017, but I put it back on – and more – as soon as I stopped dieting. I tried intermittent fasting and the keto diet and while I lost a lot of weight with both of them, it never stayed off. As soon as I hit my target weight I’d just slip back into old habits. Using Noom helped me understand my situation from a psychological view and helped to break down my relationship with food.

It’s not been plain sailing but I’m getting there. I’ve had moments of self-doubt, even after losing 30kg, where I’ve wondered why I’m doing it but you have to keep the bigger picture in your mind. Personally, I adopt a nagging child mentality where I just keep asking myself ‘why?’ over and over again.

Working as a frontline doctor in A&E in the past year also made me realise I needed to do something. I had Covid in March 2020 and I was off sick for three weeks. After I recovered and returned to work, I started seeing more and more people admitted who required invasive interventions and, unfortunately, some people who died. Many of them were obese or overweight and it made me think how lucky I was to get away with it.

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There are always temptations at work. In the doctors’ room, there are sweets and biscuits. You’d think it would be fruit and vegetables, wouldn’t you? But I’ve learned to be mindful so if I do reach for that doughnut, I ask myself what my body is telling me. Am I craving the sugar? Am I lacking energy? Am I genuinely hungry? It’s a more analytical approach – a mental checklist if you like. It sounds like a lot of work – and it is at first – but it becomes second nature.

Even on those days when I slip up and indulge with a few sweets I know it’s not a failure or something to worry about. One of the main reasons people give up on diets is because of the guilt they feel when they slip up, so you need to learn how to handle guilt.

When I first started losing weight, the first bit of exercise I did was a couch to 5k plan. I started with a 15-minute brisk walk and I was gasping for air at the end of it. I thought there was no way I could ever do 5k. Eight weeks later, I did a 5k run and 10 weeks later I did a 10k. Two weeks ago I even did my first ever duathlon, which involved running 5k followed by a 15k bike ride. I’m actually quite proud of myself.