How To Stop Being The Nice Guy

Posted by Harvey Kietel on March 9th, 2016

Being nice is a good trait. Unfortunately, when guys are referred as "the nice guy" in dating, that often means "wimp."If you want to know how to stop being the nice guy, check out these concepts often discussed on the dating women radio show I co-host.

Challenge is the key to women

"Nice guys" usually do not know a thing about challenge. A good woman wants to EARN your affection. She gets excited over the fact that other women are after you. She wants to be the one to emerge victorious. The Nice Guys

The women that say they do not want challenge are:

*Good women that are lying to you and themselves.

*Structured and you do not want them anyway.

*Not that interested in you and you do not want them anyway.

Good women that you want for long term relationships do respond well to challenge.

How do you become a challenge?

*Do not give her excessive compliments. Just tell her she looks nice when you pick her up and that you had a fun time when dropping her off.

*Do not shower her with gifts (no, you cannot buy her affection unless she is a mercenary).

*Call every 5-9 days between dates with NO contact in between. Do NOT hang on the phone with her. Save conversations for the date.

*Do not take her out on Friday and Saturday nights unless she asks.

When you employ "challenge" she assumes that when you are not with her, there are other women after you and that is a good thing. The First Avenger: Civil War

Do NOT be her butler (the "too happy to be there" syndrome)

So you think you have "Miss Right?" You tell her how happy you are to be out with her. You do her all sorts of favors. You were taught to be nice to people, right?

Why is she responding negatively? She must realize all the things you do for her, right?

Listen, even the NICEST, MOST GIVING WOMAN in the world will EAT YOU ALIVE if she thinks she has you too early on.

Look at it from her perspective. What did she do for you except agree to let you pay to take her out?

She is a STRANGER to you (and yes, that includes a girl that has been your "friend" for awhile, because things change when you date).

So, here is what she is likely thinking:

All I did was agree to go out with this guy and he fixed my car, picked up my dry cleaning, and gave me 2 dozen roses.

She might even tell you that you are "so sweet."

Then as time goes on, she gets bored and just cannot figure out why she does not want to be with a guy that is so nice to her.

Then, guess what? You are OUT. Ever happened to you before? I suspect it has.

I am all about being nice to my girlfriend, fiance or wife if I have TIME in with her and we have a good relationship.

I am NOT, however, about to do a bunch of stuff for a random stranger that I may or may not see past a few dates.

As a guy, your job is to ask a lady out, treat her with respect (as long as she respects you back) and make sure she has a fun time on your date, while you two laugh a lot.

You do not owe her ANYTHING past a fun date. Too many times guys think they have to do all these things for women to get them to like them.

She will either like you because she has fun on dates with you, or she will not. Cleaning her gutters not only will not earn you points, but it will HURT YOUR CAUSE because guys that are a challenge do not do favors between dates for women they are not in relationships with.

Stay out of her face

You need to be different from any other guy she has ever gone out with. She has to earn YOU. You are worth it, are you not?

If you do not think you are worth it, then STOP DATING right now because you will get CRUSHED in dating if you approach things like you are not worthy of HER respect, affection and romance.

If you are wondering how to stop being a nice guy then it all starts with you my friend. It is so easy to get in the pattern of giving, giving and giving some more as you are brainwashed to do, but it is not the right way to go about things when you are dating women.

Remember guys, respect, affection and romance are the keys to keeping a good woman in love but only after she has EARNED those things from you.