No Trust

Posted by Alex on July 25th, 2017

There are many reasons that we lose trust in our partners. Cheating, lying, and abuse are just a few. Sometimes we can work on our relationship and build the trust back up in it, but sometimes – no matter how hard we try – the trust is just never going to come back completely without that twinge of mistrust lurking around.

So what do you do when the trust is gone?

First of all you have to ask yourself if it’s worth sticking around. Your answer will most likely be no if you are honest with yourself.

If you can’t work it out, and you’ve tried to work it out, then you have to realize that the relationship may not be worth keeping around anymore.

(If you don’t feel like you have tried everything you can to save the relationship then I recommend trying )

The pain and anger that you are feeling is not healthy for either of you to feel for a long period of time, and the unhappiness that is associated with a bad relationship is not a way to spend your time.

While it may be hard to leave the relationship you will be doing yourself a huge injustice if you stay. If you stay in an unhappy relationship full of mistrust then:

•          Your physical health will be affected.
•          Your mental health will be affected.
•          Your happiness will be affected.
•          You are wasting precious moments of life that could be used better.
•          Your self-worth and confidence may start to become affected.
•          You may start to not accomplish what you could in life because of your self-worth dwindling.

So much more…

Why is it So Hard To Leave an Unhealthy Relationship?

There are many reasons that it’s hard to let go of the relationship including:

•          Remembering the good times over the bad.
•          Having hope that it will all work out.
•          Being comfortable in life and not wanting to uproot.
•          Not wanting to have to start over again!
•          Kids are involved.
•          Too many shared assets are involved.

All of these reasons are just excuses. In the case of the first two reasons – that’s just wishful thinking because if it hasn’t gotten better yet then there is no huge signs that it will get better in the future.

The rest of the reasons are excuses or fear. Many people leave relationships every day and deal with these issues just fine. Life has a way of picking you up and carrying you forward, even when you think that’s not going to happen.

Another huge reason we have a hard time letting go is that we, as humans, don’t want to admit defeat.

We don’t want to say that we have lost and can’t figure out how to get our relationship back together.

We don’t want to move on and let a relationship we put time in to go away.

We don’t want to leave the familiarity (no matter how bad it is) for something new and have to start all over again!

All of those reasons are not good enough to stay in a broken relationship with no trust. They are not going to make everything better in the relationship but instead are holding you prisoner in the relationship that makes you unhappy. It is not being fair to yourself or your partner.

If you really sit back and think about it you will realize that if you can’t get the trust and unconditional love back, then you will never be in a true relationship.

Letting go of a bad relationship is sometimes the only option.

The Other Option You Have Besides Leaving

The other option, if you can’t resolve it, is to settle for what you have.

At this point you are choosing to stay in a relationship with no trust (which is the core of any relationship) and essentially poke yourself with a hot poker over and over and over… until the relationship ends or you die.

You are causing yourself pain that you don’t need to be feeling.

You are wasting your precious time in life being unhappy.

You are sentencing yourself to a relationship that doesn’t deliver what it should to you.

To me the option is very clear. If you have no trust in the relationship, and you can’t get it back no matter what you try, then why force yourself to stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy?

Life IS too short to be unhappy.

About author

Alex Wise is the Founder of loveawake.com, a place for single users to connect based on their common interests. He’s a long time blogger with an appetite for technology. During the day, Alex also works as a marketer in the online marketing industry.