Mesh Shorts and Tank Tops: Just say NO!

Posted by fredclark on September 21st, 2010

He walks into the room. You scan him over. You are not impressed. In fact, you are slightly amused. How did this man leave his house looking like a fashion catastrophe?

Sure, you might not be a style guru but you have common sense. As if his tight jean cut-off shorts and curly mullet style hair are not enough to upset your gag reflex, he is also sporting a bright red, short-sleeve, mesh shirt and patriotic high-top sneakers.

Mesh shirts should have been named "mess" shirts instead. Whoever came up with the concept of clothing with a built in air flow system and enough holes to peep at a nipple or two, either had sexy women in mind while designing them, or should never have graced the fashion world with their presence.

Some things are definitely better left to ones imagination and male nipples, fat rolls, and chest hair are most certainly not the exception to this rule.

Mesh shirts, for many, conjure images of greasy, over-pumped, spandex wearing, meat-headed, and womanizing men at the beach.

Often, they are lifting weights, pounding beers, and somewhere in the background, someone is playing "Highway to the Danger Zone" on an over-sized boom-box. The kind of people that fit into this scenario only think they look good: a strange and false arrogance.

This is important: Mesh shirts never looked good in the 80's and they sure as hell don't look good now. Mesh was meant for hampers and sneaker linings. That is it.

Tank tops have a similar effect on a man's appearance. It's hard to not think of words like "wife-beater" or "red-neck" when a man sporting a tank top enters the room. It just seems as though men who wear these tops tend to be greesey and sweaty. They have there place in the world though. It is perfectly acceptable for a man to wear a tank top at the beach or while tinkering away on a car engine.

Women are the lucky ones when it comes to these tricky tops. They can sport a tank top anytime they want. They can layer them in cold weather and let them stand alone on a nice sunny day.

If you insist on revisiting the fashions of yester-year, consider the flip-flop instead.

Flip-flops have their place in the world. They are the perfect shoe for a day at the beach or a lazy afternoon at home. They are not, however, meant to be worn all the time or to just anywhere! No woman wants to go on a date with a guy who shows up in flip-flops.

Try to remember this men: You shouldn't show your toes to a woman before she has had the chance to see some of your positive qualities first. Face the facts: Most men don't take proper care of their feet. That's fine and it's definitely not the point.

Try to stick with a solid color and a basic material like leather or cloth. Most men know that flowers and sparkles aren't for them and if it isn't the forth of July, keep those patriotic flippers in the closet where they belong.

Ladies, the rules are not as strict for you on this one. Just make sure your feet aren't looking nasty. No-one wants to see hairy toes or yellow, paint-chipped, toenails.

So remember two simple rules:

1. No Mesh!

2. No tanks for men!

Or

You always have a 3rd option:

Be your self and do what you want. Screw Fashion!