Relationships Between Parents And Children
Posted by russelctgbd on February 5th, 2018
In recent years there has been talking about the various methods that are important to carry out in the methods of discipline and education for minors. Some parents feel confused and stunned. They do not know how to maintain a firm stance at the time of disciplining their children.
It seems that the experts are above the experience of being a father or mother. They forget, from the most common sense, common sense. Some students of human behavior talk about the importance of responsibility, others about parenting, some more about methods and ways of communicating with children.
The reality and our understanding
Probably everyone is right. They are the ones who can guide us when we feel lost, in this way of parenting. However, those techniques or modes that they propose to us are some suggestions, which do not necessarily determine our experience. That is, each parent and each mother, need to assess their situation, the characteristics of their family environment, as well as the way of being and the ways of behavior of children.
In reality, there are no better or worse ways to educate, it depends on the child, the circumstances, the character of the parents, the situation they are going through in the present. Also of his personal history, as well as the ways and how each of them conceives education.
In order to offer our children a quality education and upbringing, we have to have certain aspects that will probably guide us to achieve it:
The children are not an extension of the parents
They are independent people, who feel alone, who think for themselves and who have a personality that stands out since they are born. They are special.
When we do not understand this situation we are frustrated because children do not do things as we want. Definitely not, they will do according to what they are and can, according to their age and abilities.
I do not want to be misunderstood, of course, that we need to guide them to learn habits and limits, but definitely, they cannot do it the way I want, need and desire.
Parents are only facilitators of the development of their children
That means that they are not our property, that acts of abuse or violence are not justified for any reason. In addition to being people who are in a process of development in which they have to consolidate their self-esteem, self-concept, and personality.
If we as parents criticize them constantly, instead of showing them the way to do something better, then, surely, we are forming resentful children, incapable of feeling that they are doing something right, besides, that their personal experience and self-concept will develop. Distorted way.
The skills, abilities, and learning will always be based on trial and error. Or, maybe, did you learn everything the first time? Of course not, he also made mistakes, he also got frustrated, he was also given his cates, he was also scolded, and maybe also, he had to do things countless times until finally, things came out, such as you could do them.
Parents must be an authority for their children
Nowadays, parents seem to find it difficult to find ways to discipline, on the one hand, they feel guilty when they draw attention, and on the other, they compensate them with a lot of material things so that they feel happy.
The discipline, limits, and authority of parents over children is not negotiable. There are several ways to establish this form of authority. Some parents show their authority with rigidity and are not able to be flexible and tolerant of situations and circumstances. Others are too lax, and are unable to correct, discipline and establish clear and concrete boundaries. There are other parents that oscillate between both styles, sometimes they become rigid, and others, totally lax.
IT IS IMPORTANT that you reflect on your ways and ways of establishing authority with your children, in that way, perhaps, you will be able to "realize" what is working and what is not, in your relationship with them.
No relationship is as significant and important as this wonderful and wonderful relationship of parents with children. However, the nature of it, at times becomes conflictive and full of disappointments.
How is it possible, what this little person, for whom I live, wake up, work, become so impertinent with me, besides that it unleashes the most sublime sensations and feelings, and the most unpleasant ones as well.
In a certain way we can deal more with those aspects of our children that make us feel comforted, proud, good parents, but when feelings such as anger, frustration, impotence, envy, and complain are unleashed, then we do not like it that much anymore. ... We feel that we are the worst parents and that we are doing it very, very, badly.
Relationships between parents and children, like all human relationships, are subject to conflict. However, the vast majority of parents long for and maintain the expectation that the relationship with their children should always be harmonious. Big mistake! All parents want their children to be happy.
Of course, we all want that happiness, success, and triumph for them, but that does not mean they have to be with the smile in their mouth all the time. However, when we see them angry or frustrated, we worry, we get distressed. And, what is worse! We blame everything.
It is necessary to reflect on these aspects that determine the life of parents and children. We need to train men and women of good, responsible, who are able to face with solid tools the world that touches them and will play live. Let's not lose sight of the fact that the generations of our children will be the adults of tomorrow.
We need to stop fostering helpless children, unable to face their own obligations because today's parents have been given the task of solving everything ... For every skill that the child can do and that you do it yet, is converting in a person who does not use their resources and develops them so they become skilled.
Resolving everything leads us to form spoiled children, who feel that they deserve everything and that in addition, their training of character and personality, we flatter them.
Besides that it is important to convey that our love for them also means saying, many times not.Self Concept, Relationships Between, Guide Us, Common Sense, Ways, Parents, Children
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