One homework for two: how parents themselves discourage children from studying

Posted by Sharon Earls on July 12th, 2018

When adults are used to controlling each step of their child, doing homework is no exception. But often we forget that homework, it's independent, must be a child's business - and make mistakes that lead to sad consequences: from discord in the family to the loss of the schoolchild's educational motivation.

Do not carp at the details
The first conflicts due to homework begin when children do not live up to the expectations of adults. For example, my mother at school was a diligent student, and her son put up such "swinishness" in notebooks that it is disgusting to look at. And then the teacher calls and asks to take a closer look at the "dirt in the notebooks." And my mother, remembering how neat the child was once herself, is trying to fit a certain "quality standard" of her boy.

So let him write as best as he can, but does his homework with pleasure. If the mother does not get to look at the "disgrace" that is going on in the notebook, you need to think about how to fix the situation without violence against the person.

Do not do homework for your child
Many parents take any mistakes of the child on their account. They hurt their ego. Therefore, in order to minimize the damage, parents literally take the children's studies into their own hands. Instead of disassembling exercises that he did not understand, they completely do the homework for the child. And what? So, in fact, faster and easier.

No matter how motivated the adults are in this case - by fear of wounded pride or the desire to feel sorry for the child - they are doing him a disservice.

Experts from AustralianWritings claim that the lack of the skill of doing homework will very soon affect the student's performance. In addition, the child will lose the opportunity to gain important skills that will be useful to him in life. It's about the ability to manage your time, the ability to separate important and secondary, the ability to concentrate.

Do not scold the child for mistakes
In some families, it is customary to blame children for mistakes. Doing this is only if the parents want to raise a person who will then be afraid all his life, as if something did not work out, and brush aside any initiatives.

The essence of learning is to learn from your mistakes. So, dear parents, enjoy every mistake of your child!

They help him to become stronger and better. Remember that a person who never makes a mistake does not achieve anything.

Do not ignore the child's requests for help
It's not about the request "Help to make a homework" (read: "Mom, do for me"), but about the situation when a child really needs support and advice from an adult.

For example, the school was asked to prepare a report, for which you need to go to the park, the zoo, the theater. Or the task is so great that without family support, he simply can not cope.

It happens that parents refuse to help because they are afraid to admit their incompetence in this matter. They pretend that they are busy, but they drop the child: "What, can not you do it yourself?"

Can not. Therefore it is important, even if the parent does not understand the topic, go to the child and, together with him, get into the question. If necessary, open the encyclopedia, look at the Internet, in the end, call the teacher.