Self-esteem

Posted by Winnie Melda on November 12th, 2018

 Introduction

Self-esteem refers to how we value ourselves. It is the way we perceive our values to the world and how valuable that we think we are to others. Self-esteem normally affects our trust in others, our work, and our relations. A positive self-esteem tends to give us the flexibility and the strengths of taking charge of our lives and growing from our mistakes without fear of rejection. A low self-esteem keeps an individual from realizing their full potential. An individual with low self-esteem tend to feel incompetent, unworthy, and incapable.

Steps

A low self-esteem can negatively affect every part of an individual’s life including your health, relationships, and job. However, one can raise their self-esteem to a healthy level by considering the five steps towards increased self-esteem.

Identify the troubling conditions or situations

The first step towards increased self-esteem is thinking about the situations or conditions that you normally find troubling and that reduces your self-esteem. Such conditions or situations may be a change in life circumstances such as the job loss, children leaving home, death of loved one, or even a relationship with a person such as a co-worker or a spouse.

Set realistic expectations

There is nothing that lowers a person’s self-esteem more than setting unrealistic expectations. Setting realistic expectations can help boost a person’s self-esteem. When one sets an unrealistic expectation, it can have a blow on your self-esteem. Sometimes our expectations may be small, but unrealistic like when we wish that our parents should stop criticizing us (Mruk, 2013). Such an expectation is likely never to happen, but it should not be the reason that the criticism should affect our view of ourselves or your self-worth. Setting realistic expectation can help stop the cycle of negative thinking about ourselves. The negative thinking reinforces a negative self-esteem, and when we set the realistic expectation, one stops berating themselves for the failure of meeting idealistic goals.

Set aside perfection and grab accomplishments

Perfection is something that is unattainable as no one is ever going to be perfect. One can never have the perfect body, perfect children, perfect relationship, or even the perfect home. Rather than focusing too much on perfection, it is important to hold on your accomplishments as you achieve them. One should acknowledge their achievements to you for their actual value. In this step, one can even consider having a list of things that they accomplish. Making a list of your accomplishment will help one to realize what an amazing person they are, and it helps to inspire you to achieve more (Mruk, 2013). Despite making some mistakes in life, it helps to have something that you know you accomplished, and this helps to increase one’s self-esteem.

Pinpoint the negative or inaccurate thinking

In this step, it involves noticing when your thoughts turn towards the negative. A person’s thoughts and beliefs about a situation tend to affect their reaction to it. Negative beliefs and thoughts regarding someone or something may trigger emotional, physical, and behavioral response. Hence, while aiming to increase your self-esteem, one should be able to identify the negative thinking. Identifying the negative thoughts will help one to challenge those thoughts. In challenging the thoughts, an individual will have to test the accuracy of their thoughts. It is possible through asking whether your view is consistent with factors and the logic or if there may be other explanations of the situation. After challenging your negative thoughts, one will get a chance to recognize the inaccuracies in their thinking. Most people usually have long-standing ways of thinking about themselves and their lives. These thoughts and beliefs may feel normal and factual to you; however, many are just opinions and perceptions.

Change your thoughts and beliefs

After identifying the negative and inaccurate thing, the next thing is replacing those thoughts with accurate beliefs and thoughts. Replacing the inaccurate thinking with accurate thinking can enable an individual to find constructive ways of coping and giving their self-esteem a boost. It normally takes time and effort to learn how to recognize and to replace the distressing thoughts with the accurate ones. Thoughts tend to occur automatically or spontaneously and may be difficult to turn off or control. While changing your negative thoughts, it is also essential to surround yourself with supportive people (Mruk, 2013). So as to make a positive change, one should be around people that help to bring you up. Hence, consider finding a group of people that will make you feel good about yourself and also avoid those who will trigger your negative thinking.

Conclusion

Changing your self-esteem takes time, and it will require an individual to be patient. Thus, one should make an effort to be more realistic and fair with their self when following the above steps. When following the above steps, one can recognize the beliefs and thoughts that contribute to the low self-esteem. Self-esteem can fluctuate over time; hence, it is necessary that you consider revisiting the steps especially when you start feeling down on yourself.

Reference

Mruk, C (2013). Self-esteem and positive psychology. Springer Publishing Company 

Sherry Roberts is the author of this paper. A senior editor at MeldaResearch.Com in legit research paper writing services if you need a similar paper you can place your order for research essay writing services.

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Winnie Melda

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Winnie Melda
Joined: December 7th, 2017
Articles Posted: 364

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