The Beginning of Hell ? Domestic Violence

Posted by StevenHWicker on January 5th, 2019

I met Dave at work, I actually hired him. There were a few times during work where I noticed he got upset very easily. And I mean very easily, the littlest things ticked him off, things normal people would not be bothered by. Besides this, he seemed like a regular guy. He was definitely not my type and I did not look at him in that kind of way.

During this time I was already in a relationship with another guy for about 8 years. I had gone through a whole bunch of bologna with this one too (except abuse) and had lost all hope to fix the relationship. This led me to a breaking point where I begun to numb myself by drinking a lot more and going to the gym to relieve the stress.

Some co-workers had done their best to convince me and Dave that we liked each other (when we didn’t). They were trying to set us up and I’m hoping it was because they knew that I wasn’t happy with the relationship I was in during the time. Me and Dave were pretty comfortable hanging out together and I looked at him as becoming a good friend of mine. Little did I know the intentions he had for me. We had some deep conversations pretty quickly and I let him in on a few of my deepest feelings from things that were happening in my life, including my unhappy relationship. He convinced me that I deserved better and that he could give me more than the other guy ever could. Tired of relationship

Now during this time I was in a very sensitive and vulnerable part of my life and I wanted out of the relationship but I didn’t know how. After all, I was with the guy for 8 years. But with Dave in my ear he convinced me that I needed to move on. We got close and eventually got intimate. I had kicked the guy I was with for 8 years out of my house and decided to start a new relationship with Dave, after all he only seemed to want the best for me. He seemed like a really sweet guy.

After I started this new relationship with Dave I opened my eyes to a new life, something I never thought of in years. I actually thought Dave was the one because about a month or so before meeting him I screamed out to God to send me someone else cause I was just so SICK of the relationship I was in. And oh behold, Dave appeared. Looking back now, it seems as though satan took that vulnerability and used it to his advantage with me.

Dave became pretty possessive real quick. I was his and he made that clear. It got to the point that the males at work that we both used to hang out and talk to, I couldn’t interact with no more. I wasn’t allowed to talk to any guys at work and I couldn’t talk to any male customers either. I was in charge of a department, working with vendors, and he would get mad and upset if I was talking to them because they were male. His insecurities came out real quick and it was a red flag for me, but during the time I didn’t know or had ever experienced this type of abuse. So I just thought he was being overly protective, not knowing what that would lead to.

Dave had nothing and I mean nothing. I had an apartment, kids, a job, a car that I took care of and paid for all on my own. Dave had a job but no car and no house, he still lived with his mother. He ended up quitting his job that I had hired him for, using the excuse that he didn’t want me to lose my job because we were together. Looking back I think he had the intention of not working ever now that he was with a woman who already had everything. We were both young during the time and he was about 8 years younger than me, but he looked like a grown man. He was very big and muscular and had an ideal body that most men would want. I can say now that would be the only thing he had, a nice body. Everything else was ugly.

Dave started to take control of my life. He started taking my car everyday where ever he wanted to. He would drop me off and pick me up from work and never put gas. He would not tell me where he was going and if I begun to ask him where he was he would either hang up on me or get extremely angry. It was like I had no right to question him even though he was doing it with my property and on my money. Anytime he needed something I had to get it for him, it was like I had no choice. If I said no, he would play this whole scene as if I was refusing because I was doing some big scheme behind his back or he would pull the pity party and give me a sad story. He ended up moving in with me and bringing all his things to my house. We weren’t even together for 2 months and he was already telling me that he wanted me to have his child. This stunned me when he said it because we were so early in the relationship, we barely knew each other. Living with an abusive spouse

Everything moved really fast, so fast I didn’t realize what was happening. The first time the physical abuse started was one afternoon while we were driving to our destination. I don’t even remember what led to it but he ended up throwing my head against the car window while he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. That should have been my first and last warning to kick him out, break up with him, and leave him. But again, I was just stunned at what happened and didn’t understand it. He was very sweet with his words and this drew me in even though there were red flags popping up in every corner.

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StevenHWicker

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StevenHWicker
Joined: December 8th, 2018
Articles Posted: 688

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