Famous books by north Carolina authors

Posted by StevenHWicker on February 13th, 2019

They knew I didn’t want to go see grandma in her stupid nursing home! She could rot in there

for all I cared. I just wanted to be home in my room playing Fortnite with my friends and giving them

crap for not ever getting as many kills as me.

“Bring me back home! I want to go back home now! We can just see the old hag when Christmas

time rolls around again.” I said to my parents hoping they would just ignore me. But, of course, my dad,

had to open his stupid, ugly mouth!

“HEY! SHUT YOUR MOUTH, YOUNG MAN! I DON’T EVER WANT TO HEAR YOU TALK THAT WAY

ABOUT YOUR GRANDMOTHER EVER AGAIN! SHE’S YOUR GRANDMOTHER, FOR GOD’S SAKE, BILLY! WHY

DO YOU HAVE TO BE SUCH AN UNGRATEFUL LITTLE PRICK! NO MORE FORTNITE FOR A MONTH! DO YOU

HEAR ME?” But I stopped listening halfway in. The only thing I really caught was how he said something

about Fortnite which had me go off on a tangent in my head about the most epic Battle Royale Victory

of all time! I was definitely about to go home after this and watch at least ten YouTube videos of Ninja

to practice my new strategies I’ve been working out for the last week!

We made it to Oakview Falls and the place already smelled of rotting apple sauce and old

people that haven’t had their diapers changed.

“GOD, I HATE IT HERE!” My dad quickly swung his head back to where he was nose-to-nose with

me and looked like he wanted to swing his fist right into my jaw. “Go ahead,” I said, “I dare you.” But no,

instead, he jumped right out of the car, swung my car door open and pulled me out by the tip of my ear.

“YOU LITTLE SHIT!”

“OWW, OWW, OWWWWW!” I screamed out in pain. He pulled me down with him onto the

grass and I felt each hit as he spanked me in front of all the old people. They all stopped and stared at

the sight. I felt so embarrassed! Why did I get put with the worst dad to ever live! He hates me so much,

and I hate him so much! I already couldn’t wait for tonight! I was going to run away! I was going to move

to another country, become a legendary Fortnite player and make millions having a huge following on

YouTube and my dad would hate me forever for how many subscribers I will have! He doesn’t even

know! I’m going to have so many! Just you wait, Dad!

He slapped me on the butt one last time and yelled to me to get in the car as I struggled to

barely stand up. But it was too hard. I wanted to fall to the pavement and burst out in tears. This was

the worst life God could have ever given me! The Dude hates me so much! He’s probably going to send

me to Hell and make me bunk with Hitler or Donald Trump.

“I HATE YOU!” I screamed out. I then burst into tears and ran into the car and plopped my face

into the cushion seat while I sobbed uncontrollably.

The old people began going about their business again quietly talking to each other while I

heard my parents outside talking to each other. My mom said to my dad:

“I’m going to go in and tell my mom that Billy’s not feeling too good and we’re going to try

coming back in a couple of days. My dad didn’t answer. I looked up to see my mom walking inside as my

dad sat down on the curb and put his hands over his face.

Two days later:

“Billy! Come down stairs, honey!” I didn’t want to though. I wanted to stay up in my room and

stare at my desk and my wall where my TV and my computer used to be. I also wanted to stay up in my

room and feel at the empty space in my pocket where my phone used to be. They took everything! And

they told me they doubted if I would ever get any of it back. But I didn’t care. My plan to run away was

almost complete. I had already started sneaking a couple of cans of beans and putting them in my

closet, and I had already memorized the way to get to the town’s visitor center so I could get a map and

start the trek to Canada or Mexico. Whichever one was closer… I didn’t exactly know because I lived in

Colorado, and they both kind of seem super far away. Famous books by north carolina authors

My dad opened my door.

“Hey, buddy,” he smiled at me a tinge of remorse showing on his face. “You know I love you,

don’t you? And I want what’s best for you! So that’s why your mom and I got you a present. To show

that we love you and care for you.” He sat right next to me on the side of the bed and tried to put his

hand on my shoulder, but I flinched away giving him a scowl.

“I know what it is… it’s another book. A book that I’m guessing you used to read when you were

a kid… Dad, this is 2018, no one reads books anymore everyone just plays video games and watches

Netflix and YouTube.” My dad smiled at this, saying:

“Which is something you won’t be allowed to do for a long time. At least, until you learn to be

respectful and have at least one little sliver of discipline in your whole entire body. I don’t want you to

end up like your friends who continually complain to their parents, cuss at them and worship some false

idol that goes by the name of Logan Paul!”

“Dad! He’s not that bad! I told you this from time and time again! He just messed up like once!”

“BILLY!” He snapped back, “I don’t want to hear it! I’m tired of hearing that name, and I’m tired

of you having friends that are going nowhere in life and are just plain rotten! They were raised by

parents that don’t know the meaning of discipline which is something that you will one day come to

learn and love about how much better-raised you are then from… them!”

There was a long pause before my dad finally got up and held out his hand. I know what he

wanted… a hug. He wanted me to get up, hug him, and tell him that I love him and that I care for him

and that I’m glad to have him as my father and that I’m glad that he’s part of my life. But I just sat there

and stared at his hand.

“Just give me the stupid book… and don’t try the whole repackaging of the Angie Sage book that

you love so much. I already told you that I don’t care about Septimus Heap or the third book in the

series… It’s not even Harry Potter, and I don’t care that you think Harry Potter is overrated… I don’t even

care about Harry Potter anyway… I just care about Fortnite so just give me my computer and TV back,

and I’ll be respectful when we go see Grandma tomorrow.” I really thought that saying that would settle

everything and that would be that. He has to know by now that books are a dying entity, and they won’t

even exist in the future. Everything will just be movies and video games.

“This is your last chance.” He muttered like he was telling me some grave warning or something.

But I wasn’t buying it. I crossed my arms and yelled out in my best Pewdiepie impersonation:

“Fortnite is the best!” He stared at me like he had just lost something… I don’t know what

though he was just a stupid dad just like all the other stupid dads. All that dads will ever care about is

golf and football, I don’t know why this dad would care about his son so much! It’s so stupid!” He

nodded his head, and it almost looked like a dark entity had passed through the inner layers of his eyes

while he did this:

“Bring him up, Shannon.” My mom brought up someone with a towel placed over their head,

covering their head and upper body so I couldn’t see who it was.

“One of my friends that you actually like, I’m guessing?” I asked, kind of confused what they

were playing at. And I didn’t know why Craig or Andy would actually play along with how weird my

parents were…

“Surprise!” My mom said sheepishly as she pulled the towel off of…

“WHAT THE F-“

“HEY. Not that word! You know I don’t like that word!” My dad quickly interrupted me.

“I’M DREAMING! I’M DREAMING! THIS IS A NIGHTMARE! I screamed out, hiding behind the

other side of my bed.

“Hey, Billy, I know this seems weird in all, but I don’t think you’ve heard of us yet. I’m obviously

just a robot that looks and talks exactly like you! But-“

“BUT THAT’S WEIRD!” I screamed back at the thing!

“It’s just so you won’t have to see your grandmother and go to church with us and stuff like

that! You can just play Fortnite and watch YouTube all day long, honey while the robot goes around and

acts like you!” As soon as my mom said this I stood up. That actually sounded like a dream come true!

“You’re playing with me…” he whispered. His parents shook their heads.

“I mean…” my dad started to say, “I’m not totally on board but what I’m hoping it will do is help

you learn to have more respect and discipline by seeing the actions of the robot.”

“That’s stupid,” I said under my breath. But luckily neither of parents heard me.

“Alright!” My mom said, “We’ll leave you two to get acquainted.” They left the room leaving me

with the bolts and screws. Is that what I should call the stupid thing?

“Should I just call you bolts and screws? Because that’s all you are! A hunk of metal! You may

look like me and sound like me… you may walk and talk like me, but you will never be me!” I told the

thing, nudging it with my finger… it was weird… it actually felt like I was touching a real human.

“Hi,” it said, “You know why they really got me, right?” The thing went and sat down on my bed.

“No, why?” I asked, feeling its smile rest on the picture of my girlfriend on the desk next to

where my computer used to be.

It didn’t answer. Instead, it went over to the picture, picked it up and said:

“Prom’s coming up in a couple of weeks.” I looked at it, concerned.

“How did you know that?” I asked. It dropped the picture frame down on the desk having a loud

noise erupt from the sound of it hitting the wood.

“Julie and I talked about it.” it said. I looked at the robot and then looked down at the picture.

“How did you know my girlfriend’s name was Julie?” it smiled as it moved me over to where it

was standing.

“My parents brought me over to see her after I got back from the hospital.” Back from the

hospital? What was it talking about?

“You mean back from the store?” I corrected the robot. It shrugged at this. There too. They let

me pick out a new video game. I’ve kind of gotten tired of Fortnite and Greg and Mark were telling me I

should get Fallout so they don’t have to keep bringing theirs over whenever we want to play it.

“Wait…” I said, “How do you know my friend’s names?” It looked at me and laughed. “Silly

robot,” it said, “robots aren’t friends with humans! That’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard in my

life!” It called me a robot… why did it call me a robot?

“MOM?” I called out. It sat down on my bed again and smiled as my mom came in looking at the

robot.

“Is it glitching, Billy?” She asked the robot.

“MOM! That’s the robot!” I said pointing to the thing sitting on my bed with its arms crossed.

“Can I have my TV, phone, and computer back now?” It asked. I looked at it shocked. She smiled

at the robot and nodded.

“Just promise you’ll be good when we go and visit grandma again tomorrow, okay?” It nodded

and picked up my comic book, beginning to read it right on the same page where I left off.

“How did you know I left off on that page?” It looked at me with a scowl.

“These robots are weird!” It snapped as my mom tried to lead me out of my room. But I wasn’t

budging. I couldn’t believe this was happening.

“NO!” I screamed out, “I HAD NO IDEA THIS WOULD HAPPEN! I WANT TO BE GOOD! I WANT TO

SEE GRANDMA! I WANT TO STAY HERE WITH MY PARENTS! THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING!” Two men came

in and picked me up, taking me from my room and down the stairs as I kept kicking and screaming. My

dad was waiting down at the bottom of the stairs with a mug of coffee.

“My golf buddies told me this happened to their robots they got for their kids too.” My dad told

the men.

“BUT DAD IT’S ME! WE JUST TALKED ABOUT YOUR FAVORITE BOOK! SEPTIMUS HEAP, DAD! THE

THIRD ONE!” He shuddered as he said:

“That’s weird,” he took another sip of his coffee as he remarked; “I hate robots and how they

can just say stuff like that.” They pushed me through the door and towards a big van that they quickly

shoved me inside, closing the door.

“Roger? Elroy? Peter?” All my friends looked at me confused as they remarked to each other

about how funny the human’s emotions were. Then Elroy shoved me down onto the bench inside the

van saying to me as it got its face all up in mine:

“You better be good! Don’t worry, you’ll be with your human friends soon enough, human boy!

Just sit back and enjoy the ride.” And the van started up and took off.

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