Learn How To Practice Art Of Detachment

Posted by Nitish on August 12th, 2019

Detachment is one of the important aspects in achieving true fulfillment.
Practicing detachment while remaining separated and isolated will benefit you in
remarkable ways. Practicing detachment is the key to preventing disappointment and
ending the emotional connect between us and the universe.
Before we discuss about detachment, we need to know about attachment.

Attachment is nothing but the deep and emotional connect between one person and
another person in many ways and through space.

We easily get attached to people like friends, boyfriends, girlfriends and parents etc. We
get attached to money, status, self-image, our beauty. We even get attached to
expectations on our future.

We live as if these people and objects are permanent in our lives and our own stability
depends on these people and things.

But one day all these entities leave you off. Relationships will come to an end, all your
money is spent. What we fail to realize is that all of these things are temporary. They
leave you at some point or another. So when we attached to these things, we set
ourselves for disappointment, confusion, emotional breakdown in our life.
Detachment on the other hand is an art of realizing nothing is permanent.

So what exactly is an art of detachment?

Detachment means more involvement, but without being attached to the specific
relation or bonding. It is an art of understanding nature of this world and learning to live
in its flow, rather than fighting against its rules. It’s like stepping outside of who we really
are and seeing things without the ego’s immersion.

So let me explain you about my personal experience in dealing with this detachment.
I can hardly remember way back in time to when I first started suffering from this
attachment. I was a little boy aged 12, and I had a box filled with chocolates. When my
cousins would come over, I would take all my chocolates and hide them so that they
could not take any of them. One day my father realized that I was doing this thing. He
opened the box of chocolates and started handing them out to my cousins. While I sat
there and cried out there, my father smiled and said, “You have these many
chocolates, what do these 3 or 4 chocolates matter to you?”

The truth is that these chocolates didn’t matter at all to me. But the fact is that I have a
feeling that they were mine is what really mattered here. The next day my
grandmother visited us and she would always bring me chocolates and biscuits .I could
care less about the ones that my father gave away. So this just proved that I was more
attached to something in an unhealthy way. I cared nothing about this specific chocolate
but i just cared that it was mine and people knew that I owned them. The attachment I
had to these chocolates was affecting me and my relationship with my cousins in
many unhealthy ways.

Now go back to the question “Is detachment is good or bad?”

My answer is when you can’t replace what you are attached to something, then you
suffer from utmost disappointment. So detach the words I, Me, Mine from your
dictionary.

So to practice detachment you have to let go off your ego.
Observe your mind. Become aware of what kind of thoughts you think. What things do
you identify with most when you are working? Become a student of self and increase
your awareness of where this attachment happens more frequently for you. Observe
where you feel this attachment in your body. It is very different for each and every individual and learning suitable patterns to avoid attachment is a useful tool in creating change in life.

The first foremost step in making change is finding what it is you want to change.
Instead of getting disappointed, focus on the patterns which may change your mind and
thoughts.

In no time, this will allow you to transform your behavior.
Set good boundaries between the persons or things with whom you may have become
attached with. Make sure you take back your power especially from persons in the past
who have effected your emotion and happiness. Recognize when you try to save other
people this is the pattern which you have the capability to change. Just try to mind your
own business.

Accept that some people are insecure and toxic and may have an
unhealthy impact on your life. Stop making excuses for them and make a habit to
release or leave them from your own life.