How To Send Your First Message To An Online Dating Site:

Posted by Juanes Garza on August 16th, 2019


The first message sent to an online dating platform, is much simpler than most men think.

Many think, that you need to send a surprising first message, in order to get a woman's attention, but that is not the case.

You just need to follow some guidelines to make sure, that your message is sent effectively.

For instance, you should never send arbitrary messages.

Instead, learn a little about her first, by first scanning her profile to see if anything strikes you about her.

Then try to raise something interesting that you have gathered from her profile, so that your message has substance.

This is good for you, because it’ll show that you took the time to review her profile.

(most men don’t bother)

For instance, you can question the details regarding one of her photos, doing this will help your message stand out.

Try to conclude your message in a fashion, that will entice her to respond.       

Believe it or not, a simple question like “that's a great picture, where was it taken?" or “do you have more photos of that trip?” will work!

If you want your first message to have a little more value, you can offer her to take on a challenge.

For example, if she loves fitness, you can ask her if she likes challenges, and if she says yes, then challenge her to a 30 day plank or squat challenge. 

True Story: I asked a girl if she liked challenges, she replied yes, and so I offered to pay her a round trip to America, all expenses paid, and she said yes, she lived in Australia - it was amazing!


A challenge is great because its on a take it or leave it basis, but make sure that she has warmed up to you first before challenging her to fly to you.

Keep your first message short, like 2-3 sentences.

If you are talkative, wait to see if she is also before sending a long message, the worse thing is to send a novel to a girl, it scares them, and you’ll come off as though you’re trying too hard.

In general, keep the atmosphere playful and innocent, just have fun and see if you can engage into an energetic conversation. 

Meeting Women Online:


Don't make the mistake (that so many do) and assume, that the girls you’ve met online are going to move forward as fast as you think. 

When it comes to dating a woman you met online, you will have to take the same steps like in normal life, meaning there has to be some trust built first.

For instance, a good time to ask a girl for her number is when you both feel it naturally, and please don’t expect her details just because it’s a dating site, the same applies for social media info.

You will both get the inevitable feeling that its time to finally meet, this can happen after the 4th message or weeks down the line, it depends!

Strategizing a short round trip to meet each other, or any other ways to speed things up, may increase your chances or not.

Remember, we are dealing with females here, so play it cool.

By playing it cool, meaning keeping your composure, you will demonstrate that you expect women to make a little effort on their part also.

Do whatever it takes to show that you are a selective and high-value guy.

So, be as relatively patient as possible, and when you feel that you’ve both reached the point to finally meet, then suggest a date, saying something like: 

 “We have been talking for a while, do you agree it’s time that we should meet?

At that point, you’ll know based on your entire dialog with her, what to do next.    

Learn More About Online Dating Using A Fake Profile:


If you want to master the art of dating online dating, a smart thing to do, is to set up a fake profile and set it up as though you were a female.

Find a random image of an attractive woman, create a profile and watch what happens, in minutes, you’ll be flooded with messages.

Here, you’ll see what all the smart guys do, and what all the bozos do.

You’ll also experience what it feels like to be a female, and why online dating takes time and needs to be strategic.

By understanding a woman's perspective and experience, you’ll have a better idea of ​​what women are looking for. 

You’ll learn what it takes to make your first message come across with style, and what type of messages to avoid.

You can even take a look at some profiles that other guys are actively using, to get ideas to improve yours.

Then you can give women what they want.

Now go get em!

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Juanes Garza

About the Author

Juanes Garza
Joined: May 16th, 2018
Articles Posted: 24

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