5 Best Strategies to Deal with Tensed Marital Relationship

Posted by Joseph Franks on September 30th, 2019

Marital relationship is full of challenges and ups and downs, so much so that nearly 50% of first-time marriages end up in divorce till 2014, according to a report published by divorcestats.org. The reasons for divorce vary from lack of communication, intimacy, trust to financial strain, resentment and incompatibility. In most of the cases, the couples remain unable to forgive each other and hence seek divorce as a solution to their marital problems.

Apparently divorce may seem to be the only answer to such problems, however, it is not. Divorce leads to further problems such as psychological or behavioral problems in children; as well as causes financial and health problems of the divorced spouse.

The process of divorce itself becomes very stressful in many ways and can become expensive from for example from hiring a divorce attorney to dealing with post-divorce matters.

For these and many other reasons, couples should re-evaluate their relationship and roles in tensed marriage. Divorce should not be taken as a solution instead, they should consider the following strategies to save their marriage:

1. Considers Marriage Counselling:

Counseling is said to be the most effective solution to save a marriage. Going for counseling does not mean that you should wait until your marriage becomes completely hopeless. Instead, marriage counseling should be considered twice a year. The biggest benefit of marriage counseling before any serious conflict is that the couples receive appropriate solutions to their problems to strengthen their relation. Moreover, timely addressing a problem saves them from divorce- a bigger problem.

2. Communicate Your Needs:

There is a number of times when couples lack communication. In this situation, the couples should try to find out the ways to communicate their needs with each other. If both of you are ready to listen and talk, share your needs openly.

In many cases, the couples resent each other and believe that their needs will not be met. However, the fact remains that unless you speak your mind and heart, your spouse will not know what you really want.

3. Make Efforts to Spend Quality Time Together:

Couples tend to feel unhappy in their marriage mainly because they feel they don’t relate to each other anymore. This feeling arises due to several reasons such as financial burden, highly busy routine, or children’s’ needs taking most of their time and energy.

The couples should put the effort into spending quality time together such as taking vacations or going on romantic dinner. These are the ‘needs’ of a healthy marriage and not luxuries!

4. Hold Yourself Accountable for Your Mistakes:

It doesn’t mean to stay accountable to your spouse ONLY, but seek other married couples to hold you accountable for your actions. Especially, accountable to your promises that you made to your spouse. Everyone needs a mentor, friends or a support system. This support system becomes even more important when you are in a marital relationship.

Sometimes, divorce seems to be the only solution because the couples don’t have any guidance who could suggest them other solutions instead of divorce.

5. Accept, You Both are Human Beings:

None is perfect. Your spouse is human just like you. Humans make mistakes. The biggest reason couples get frustrated is they want their partner to be as they expect them to be. However, the fact remains that you should accept your spouse and forgive the mistakes, you will not be disappointed to such an extent. Give your spouse what you want in return, for instance, kindness, love, acceptance, and forgiveness.

This way your marriage can thrive and survive.

Final Word:

You and your spouse must understand the bigger issues in your marriage. By observing and understanding what is bothering your spouse and you or what things both of you need to work on together. Communicate these problems and be willing to work together instead of letting your marriage fall apart.