Healthy vs. unhealthy relationships

Posted by Justine Mfulama on November 12th, 2019

Whenever I talk to my clients I find out that a lot of women nowadays, do not know what a healthy relationship looks like. Usually, it’s for two reasons. 

For one they have not been modeled a healthy relationship by their parents because of divorce or abuse. Subsequently, most childhood memories include a crying mother and an angry father, rather than loving parents. 

Number two, because they have not been able to attract and maintain a godly relationship themselves and moved from situations to situationship for years. 

Therefore, they have a hard time identifying the signs of a healthy relationship.

Signs of a healthy relationship 

Respect:

You listen to each other’s questions and concerns and respect for each other. Whenever you have an argument, you stay cool and collective and communicate in a respectful way. Because of your partner's respect for you, you feel comfortable talking about problems or issues. 

Togetherness: 

Whenever the two of you are together, people can sense that you are a team. You are loyal to each other and prioritize the other person and their well-being. You know that you have your partner’s full support and can rely on him in hard times. 

Transparency:

In your relationship, you feel comfortable being completely yourself. You don’t feel the need to hide your quirky jokes or bad take manners. Your partner entrusts you with his deepest fears and greatest dreams, which encourages you to completely open up and be vulnerable. 

Signs of an unhealthy relationship

Abuse:

In your relationship, you experience different types of abuse, including physical and emotional abuse. You repeatedly feel controlled, manipulated and humiliated by your partner, which makes you uncomfortable to share your honest thoughts and feelings about the relationship. 

Loneliness:

Your relationship feels one-sided and you feel like you can’t connect with your partner anymore. Whenever you try to be affectionate or share emotional intimacy he is abrasive and rude. His behavior is starting to affect your mental well-being and making you wonder if you are good enough. 

Secrecy:

You can sense that your partner is not being honest with you. He has become more secretive and refuses to open up to you. Even though you do not pressure him into anything, however whenever you confront him about his whereabouts he accuses you of being too demanding and gets angry.

This is not an extensive list of differences between a healthy and unhealthy relationship, however knowing these signs can help you discern the state of your relationship in the future.