The Role of Shame in Premature Ejaculation: Finding Hope and Help

Posted by Felix Black on November 19th, 2019

About a year ago I had started to noticed that I was consistently not able to come at the appropriate time when having sex

The overwhelming majority of the times it was before my partner had reached or even come close to having her orgasm. At first I thought it might have been related to stress with me putting a lot of overtime at work. To try and break out of this rut, I took a one week vacation out to the Australian outback where I often to took time off during my earlier age. My girlfriend also look forward as she knew the frustration that I was having in the bedroom. Well unfortunately the outdoor and secluded environment as well as wine, romantic music and steak dinners did not help. Needless to say this really got me depressed and I felt there was no other option but to make an appointment with my doctor in Adelaide. After going through a physical exam and taking numerous tests, we had an earnest discussion on my sexual life. Erectile dysfunction or ED was ruled as I was not having a problem getting a firm erection when sexually aroused.

The issue definitely centered around premature ejaculation (PE).

This diagnosis was not a surprise to me however what did was that there were many middle aged men that suffered from it and that there were many causes and treatment for this temporary problem. Since my health care provider had given me a clean build of health, any types of medication or drugs would be a last resort. My doctor has me fill out this rather comprehensive survey which covered all aspects of my sexual life to include some information on partners I had recently been with. Although I am normally a private person, I really wanted to get past this as it was really affecting the relationship with my girlfriend.

About a week had passed and I received a phone call from my doctor.

He recommended that I get therapy as a way to address the negative feelings and emotions that lead to problems with sexual relationships. This seemed strange to hear at first since I felt that my girlfriend and I really fairly close and open to each other. The doctor provided me with a psychologist that he frequently referred patients to so I decided to give it a try. Once again my partner was very supportive and agreed to come along. During this psychological therapy sessions I learned a lot about myself and the needs to my girlfriends. It also give me greater sexual confidence and understanding to improve my partner's satisfaction.

We went to weekly sessions for two months and having sex whenever possible, however the premature ejaculations still was not fixed

The physicians from than told us that we would have to switch gears and start using what they call behavior therapy. Since my partner was still being supportive, this method would have a very good chance of working. The main idea being this form of therapy was to help you train your body away from premature ejaculation.

The first method that was recommended was for my girlfriend to fondle my penis until i was just about ready to ejaculate

As I was getting ready to come, she firmly squeezed my sex organ so as my erection would partly go away. I guess that idea was that I would remember what it felt like as I arrived at ejaculating and then would be better able to control and delay coming on my own. The other method which was suggested also included my partner stimulating my penis but stopping before I was ready to come. My girlfriend would then stop until the urge to come lets up. As I started to having the urge to have sex again, my partner would start yanking on my penis again to include having oral sex. This stop and go process would be repeated several times. After this I was finally allowed to ejaculate upon the body of my beautiful looking but now exhausted girlfriend. It was also highly suggested that you practice this several times a week with your partner until you have gained more control.

Well this story has a happy ending as I am now able to confidently ejaculate after my girlfriend has experienced her orgasm and have a happy ending at the appropriate time

Behavior therapy may not work for everyone however with the medical support that I received in Australia as well as a fine local girlfriend, I can highly recommend this to anyone whom is experiencing premature ejaculations and determined to find a solution and start enjoying life to its fullest again.

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Felix Black

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Felix Black
Joined: November 3rd, 2019
Articles Posted: 3

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