How a Book Could Help Your Confidence

Posted by Arlin on November 20th, 2019

If you struggle with low self esteem or lack of confidence, reading a book on the topic could help. There are numerous self-help books directed at overcoming shyness, social anxiety, and lack of social skills, and each of these could be helpful for you. Need tips on how to make this work for you? Here are my best suggestions.

Choose a Workbook

As an author of a self-help book myself, I can tell you that the workbook-style book is your best bet as it will force you to do the homework as you read through the book. Otherwise, you might zoom through a regular print book without ever putting what you learn into practice, and in the end you'll be no further ahead. We learn by putting what we read into action.

Set a Deadline

Oh if you only knew how many self-help books I had started and not finished. It helps that I have an audiobook membership through Scrib'd as I can have multiple books on the go. But I don't recommend you necessarily do this! Instead, choose a deadline such as 90 days from now, and make it your goal to finish the book by then. Work backwards and figure out how many pages you need to do each day and put it on your to-do list so you don't forget.

Choose the Best Authors

By best authors, I mean those with good credentials (a degree in mental health is helpful), but also those whose writing style you enjoy reading. It's not going to be very enjoyable to slog through an entire book if you can't stand the writing. For example, I am whizzing through one of Jen Sincero's books because she uses humor and keeps it interesting. Find an author who resonates with you and for whom you think you will put in the work.

Track Your Progress

It's easy to think you've not made any progress if you don't track it. How many times have you felt stuck and like you hadn't gotten anywhere with something, only to take a zoomed out view and realize that you'd really gone quite a long way? We call this tunnel vision for a reason; you can't see your progress because you are stuck in the muck of it. Try tracking it in some way, so you have a way to see how far you have come. That could mean taking an assessment before and after using a workbook or writing down how you feel each day and tracking your stress level over time. Whatever you choose to do, do it consistently.

Above all else, if you choose to use a self-help book, make sure you are using it for a mild to moderate problem. If you are truly suffering in your day to day life with a mental health issue such as social anxiety, it's more likely that you will need to see a professional to make progress and improve your situation. Remember that there is no shame is asking for help and it can be empowering to do so.

Read more about books for managing social anxiety.