13 Great Tips To Stamp Out Loneliness
Posted by Nick Niesen on October 26th, 2010
What is LONELINESS? It is not about being on your own. Many people enjoy being on their own and would choose this for themselves for at lest part of the time. They enjoy having their own space. They do not feel the need to have other people around all of the time to validate them or make them feel more comfortable.
This suggests that LONELINESS is a state of mind. It is tied up with how you feel about yourself.When we have a low self esteem, we have a choice about whether to change this or not. The prospect of change can be daunting.The challenge of embracing this is however very worthwhile, with rewards not only in terms of how you feel bout yourself but also in the quality of your life.
2.Try asking members of your family, colleagues, friends, how they would describe you. This may reveal a number of POSITIVE statements about you which are surprising and / or uplifting. (Note of caution, choose wisely!)
3.Write down POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS about yourself (Please see article re POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS.)
4.Pay more attention to your thoughts and feelings. When you are aware of these being critical, try challenging them or using THOUGHT STOPPING TECHNIQUES. (Please see article re THOUGHT STOPPING TECHNIQUES.)
5.Practise seeing yourself in particular situations when you feel CONFIDENT and good about who you are and the circumstances you are in. you are feeling comfortable. Feedback from others is POSITIVE. People are paying attention to you. You are maintaining good eye contact .Feed as much information into this exercise as possible. Pay attention to your body language and how you converse. Make sure you CHOOSE clothes to make the most of your physical attributes and feel CONFIDENT in them. Do you feel better wearing make up and perfume? (A question for the girls!) Remember how it feels to have a stronger sense of SELF WORTH, to get POSITIVE FEEDBACK from others and from your own reaction.
6.You can proceed to use the lessons learnt from this exercise to go into the situation for real. You can enter it from a more CONFIDENT and less threatened stance.
7.Try not to leave a situation because of feelings of discomfort or anxiety.This will only increase your fear of a situation at a higher level and give yourself negative feedback.
8.Remember how you felt when you last heard a friend say something POSITIVE about you or when they did something which made you feel appreciated and liked.
9.Put more FUN into your life.eg.
10.Get involved in some type of activity which will raise your CONFIDENCE. People often resist the suggestion to attend a confidence building class. There is a place for them but it is perhaps not the best or the healthiest option, to put people together with others who have the same difficulty.
You will benefit from having set yourself a GOAL or CHALLENGE and by the opportunity to express yourself in a different way.
If you have a family, you may choose an ACTIVITY which you can do together such as cycling.Dance has the added benefit of being good FUN and brings you into contact with other people. SKIPPING can help increase bone density so is great for all of us over 40.Beware you are more likely to do this on your own. You could however go for a really nice walk somewhere and have your ropes in your pocket.
This will offer opportunity to make a new group of friends.You will have a new shared interest and a sense of camaraderie. You may need to trust and be trusted by others.You will have the opportunity to give and receive POSITIVE feedback and have
11.Exercise is useful in enhancing SELF ESTEEM and will also benefit you by lowering your state of arousal. This means that more stress will be required for you to be affected by it. Increased muscle tone can help you feel more confident with how you look. Pick an exercise to meet your specific needs.
13.Stop judging others. More importantly-Stop judging yourself!
About the AuthorNick Niesen
Joined: April 29th, 2015
Articles Posted: 33,847
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