Marriage - Love & Responsibility

Posted by Aibel India on January 10th, 2020

 “Love that leads to marriage is a gift from God and a great act of faith toward other human beings.” These lines are from none other than Pope Saint John Paul II, who served as Pope of Catholic Church from 1978 to 2005 and author of the book, ‘Love and Responsibility’. An important figure amongst Christians, Catholics and non-Catholics alike, he upholds the concept of family as the primary stone on which faith and love are built.

One cannot talk about family without talking about marriage. There are two aspects that Pope holds dear when one talks about marriage; unity and indissolubility. In today’s world when there is an increasing debate on the importance of individual freedom and expression, Pope counts these as subordinate requirements to the institution of marriage and love.

Marriage being part of the divine plan has been pre-ordained by the Almighty himself. His judgement is wise and in best interests of the well-being of his creations. Hence, a marriage held in His witness is indissoluble and divorce, as Jesus explains, was merely due to the hardness of one’s heart. One cannot be burdened by this commitment for “Love between man and woman cannot be built without sacrifices and self-denial.” Love, as explained by John Paul II is when one overlooks the needs, the wants and the assertion of oneself in their dedication and commitment to the other.

Though the idea of restricting one’s individual freedom might sound scary in the beginning, love cannot be without this. Love brings with it cheer and positivity, overcoming the need for one’s absolute freedom as “Freedom exists for the sake of love.” Marriage and love is beyond mere attraction or desire, states Pope. For every individual needs to be treated as to be loved and not used. When desire is the predominant aspect between man and woman, it deforms the love. For pleasure or physical satisfaction is not the purpose of love; the purpose of love is utmost dedication and to rise in faith.

Love is not ready-made but a result of lasting commitment and effort on both sides. It requires effort and a will to succumb to this task at hand. It is constantly in the making and never made, making effort is mandatory life-long. Romantic love, characterised by spark, fire, and attraction, is not love in its entirety. It transforms to love only when it evolves into true friendship with a common goal to work and rise together. This indeed is the truest unification and the ideal state to be achieved in marriage.

Love is a responsibility and greater the responsibility towards the significant other, the greater be the love. One can establish a connection to another only through love and love cannot be without responsibility. Pope John Paul II’s entire perspective on love and Christian matrimony is summed in this one quote “Take away from love the fullness of self-surrender, the completeness of personal commitment, and what remains will be a total denial and negation of it.”

This is the one line we need to learn for love. This is the only line one needs to learn for love.