online dating mistakes, paid dating sites, online dating advice

Posted by fareedy on January 25th, 2020

Everyone makes mistakes. If you’re already in the online dating scene, check out these common mistakes and make a change if necessary. If you’re not doing it yet but want to, use this advice to get started on the right foot.

Not Being Honest – You might think if you’re honest about your situation that you will turn off prospects. But they’ll find out anyway, so you may as well weed out potential failures right off the bat by always being honest.

Not Knowing What You Want – It’s hard to date if you’re not sure what you want. But try to learn about what you want as you experience dating. If you date someone and they behave in a way that turns you off, note that and add it to your profile so that you don’t do it again.

Remember that what you want is a big question. It might be to meet friends. It might be to hook up. It might be to find a life partner. It’s up to you, and there is no right or wrong answer.

Not Asking the Right Questions – When you date people, you need to ask them questions about themselves. You know your own deal breakers, so you want to design questions for the person that bring to light any of the deal breakers you have identified in yourself. For example, if you’re a young woman who doesn’t want to date someone who has a kid, ask them if they’ve been married and have kids before you go on another date or before you even go on the first date.

Not Listening to Your Inner Voice – Everyone has a little inner voice that tells them things and gives them feedback about other people. Most of us ignore it. But when you go on a date, look for red flags and listen to your inner voice. Even if it seems illogical, that voice knows more than you think. If you have social anxiety, you may need to double date with some friends to offer help and support.

Posting Your Best Photo – We've mentioned this already. You might think you should post your very best photo to put yourself in the best light. But the truth is, that’s not how you really look and you know it. Post pictures that show how you really look on a normal day. If someone doesn’t like you how you really look, then they’re not worth wasting your time on.

Not Reading Profiles – It’s shocking how many people only look at photos to choose a date. Don’t be that person. Read the profiles to find out if you will like them. If they have deal breakers in their profile, say no and move on. Don’t allow hair color or height to be a deal breaker, though. It’s okay to have preferences, but you’re missing out if you let superficial items be deal breakers.

Not Joining Paid Dating Sites – Paid dating sites are a lot better than free ones. You might not want to pay, but the paying part weeds out a lot of people. It doesn’t weed out all scammers, but if something does go wrong it’s often easier to track down the person who has joined a membership than someone you found on Tinder or Grinder.

Not Meeting in Person Sooner – Don’t waste time talking to someone for months on end via chat, text, and Skype. Instead, chat a while and if they seem like a connection, move it to voice, then ask for a date. The sooner you meet in person, the better, because that is what’s going to determine the long-term chances of the relationship.

The main thing is to be careful, just like you would if you were meeting any stranger for any reason. Take it slowly and get to know the person. But don’t take it so slowly that you don’t meet in person for months. You really want to move from online to offline within a week or two to ensure that they are real people who really want what they say they want in their profiles.


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