How To Stop Relationship Emotional Blackmail

Posted by Juanes Garza on January 29th, 2020

However in regards to “Emotional Blackmail” the aggressor is not interested in negotiating.

It’s either all or nothing regarding their demands and they’re not willing to bend.

This means, they won’t stop to consider alternatives or other points of view, they want what they want and nothing more.

Here are 2 examples of emotional blackmail.

⁃      If I ever see another man look at you I will kill him.


⁃      If you ever stop loving me I will kill myself.

From the 2 examples above, this leaves his loving partner walking on eggshells.

At least manipulators sneak their manipulative ways through kindness and is open to being cornered.

However, the emotional blackmailer is point blank irrational and unreasonable.

So how do you stop emotional blackmail?

The answer is not black and white because the blackmailer found a way to impose his demands through his partner’s weaknesses.

In other words, the blackmailer has produced an edge over his partner to demand, and if they don’t get their way, they’ll make you pay emotionally or physically.

Perhaps the first idea is to know that nobody in a loving relationship deserves that kind of treatment.

So the first question could be “ is that love?”

Once you see that blackmail is not love, the next step is to examine what tendencies about you allows your perpetrator to use blackmail against you.   

The root answers are usually insecurities, codependent, low self-worth, history of abuse, etc  

So what are the emotional and behavioral defects that put you into the position to allow your partner to have that type of power over you? 

This needs to be looked into deeply because an emotional blackmailer will go as far as hurting themselves to get what they want, or will threaten or punish you.

They’ll hurt themselves because they already know that you’ll feel bad and will give in, and they’ll hurt you because they already know that you won’t fight back.

These weaknesses have been developed early in life to cope, which lead to sacrificing and ultimately placing yourself at the end.   

Here are practical suggestions to help you seek out what actions to take and ways to change,

1- Learn to pause by never answering immediately.

Consider always defending yourself by saying” let me think about it” and make this a habit.

This technique will give you time to ponder things over before committing to anything.

With this technique, you’ve created an emotional distance to make healthy choices based on logic, rather than through emotions.

2- Put things into your set schedule.

Make sure that you have a daily structure and within that structure add your partner accordingly.   

This is crucial because an emotional blackmailer gets off on his partner breaking schedules for them.


Find ways to say “no thanks” while walking off or busy into other things, this will give your blackmailer less chance to trap you emotionally.

The blackmailer doesn’t expect confrontation so learning how to become bold and direct will work, but it’s gonna take practice.

The ultimate is not to become bold as in cocky but to simply have the ability to catch a manipulator in action because he will always make a demand with a threat or a reward and throw em off.

Sometimes a break up is best in order to have enough time to practice while dating single to develop a new you.

I am an expert in the field of manipulation and blackmailing and can catch people within their own smiles and can see what’s “up their sleeves” beforehand.  

A loving relationship should be a precious gift to each other, not a battle.

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Juanes Garza

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Juanes Garza
Joined: May 16th, 2018
Articles Posted: 24

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