It took a tragedy to help me to increase my self-esteem

Posted by Nick Niesen on October 26th, 2010

There are many people seeking help and ways to increase their self-esteem or self-confidence. This article describes how I managed to pull myself out of depression, and how I boosted my own self-esteem by hearing about a tragedy which happened in my local area.

I am the type of person who always saw life as one big struggle. I thought that I had it tough, that I was so unfortunate. To say that I worried about things was an understatement. I stressed so much that my hair began to turn grey by the age of twenty-one. My self-esteem had been shot to pieces by people who had bullied me at school and despite many attempts to achieve happiness, had not been able to find it. I was a very negative thinker and certainly did not appreciate what I actually did have in life, which were a superb family and some good friends.

The tragic event

One day when I was around my early to mid twenties, I went to the hairdressers for my monthly trim. I knew the lady who worked in there quite well and we often had a good gossip. What she was about to tell me, not only came as a shock, but would change my life forever.

She asked me if I had heard about the car crash, that had happened over the weekend. I hadn't and she then went on to describe what had happened.

Three young men who were all aged twenty-two, were on the way for an evening in the local public house. One of them decided he would drive and on the way there, partly due to the fact that he was driving too quickly, he lost control of the car. His vehicle had then careered straight into a large tree, all three of the people in the car had died at the scene.

She continued that one of the men which had died, had worked in the butchers, which was only two doors away from her shop. She described the man in question, which turned out to be a person that I knew, just to say hello to. I actually saw him on most mornings and we often smiled at each other, and would say something like, hi there.

I know that this type of event happens everyday, however this had really took me by surprise and had quite a big impact on me. I was asking myself many questions such as:

Why him?

Why did he have to die so young, he seemed so harmless and friendly?

Later on when I was at home, I started to think even more about this particular person. Even though he was friendly, he always looked quite stressed and did not seem that happy. If he had known what was about to happen to him, I am sure he would have made the most of the time he had left.

It should not have taken this kind of tragedy to bring me to my senses, but it did. I suddenly realised that we are all terminally ill as we all will die at some point in the future. I am sorry if that is a bit morbid, but it is true. Not all of us will live until retirement age and our lives could end tomorrow.

I then decided that I had to change my approach to life, I needed to make the most of whatever time I had left. Time spent stressing is time wasted. I am now just going to go for it and not worry about, for example, what people think of me.

I also thought about the family and friends of the people who had died. I can't really imagine what they were going through as I have never been in that situation, however is must be awful. Those people have a reason to feel sorry for themselves, not me.

Life is no longer the struggle it once was, I do not care how much money I have or what car I drive or what opinion people may have of me. I fully appreciate my sense of smell, my ability to walk and talk, my family and my friends. I will die at some point but in the mean time I am going to live life to the full.

I hope this article can help you to increase your self-esteem and in conclusion, life is to short to worry. Walk tall and be proud of who you are. Think about all the positive aspects of your life, rather than the negative ones. Good luck.

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Nick Niesen

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Nick Niesen
Joined: April 29th, 2015
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