Learn Through Sex Educational Websites; Don?t Mislead Yourself Through Porn

Posted by Getiton on July 16th, 2012

We’ve all seen porn. Whether it was Dads secret stash of dirty magazines that you found in the garage when you were 14; that DVD you bought years ago that always manages to get you off when you need it, or the library of favourite vids you’ve got saved on Xtube. Whether we admit it or not, most of us have watched at some point. And love it or hate it, it’s here to stay.

Good gay porn is hot. It's a turn-on and its fun. It's pretty hard to find a gay man who doesn't have a collection of some form of one-handed viewing or reading or a bookmarked list of favourite internet sites. Check with your friends and you might find they've discovered the world of porn right along with you – just that you’ve never talked about it.

The shift to online entertainment over the last two decades has radically reshaped the world of porn and how we access it. Not to mention the variety! Before the internet, you could probably identify a handful of gay porn models that had made a career out of it, but these days it seems every man and his cock wants to bare all. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! This seeminglyinfinitesupply has given rise to a plethora of genres, showing guys of all shapes, sizes and races. Twinks, Bears, Muscle, Daddys, Boy-Next-Door, BDSM, or Romantic - almost anything you like can be found somewhere online. Then there are the user-generated sites like Xtube where people post their own home-made stuff. For a lot of guys it’s a major turn on to show off online!

One thing porn has done is break down the taboo-factor of sex, and that is a good thing. There is certainly nothing wrong with jerking off. Whether we use our imagination to conjure up a hot fantasy, or watch a hot scene online, masturbating is just as much part of human sex as anything else. Never feel guilty because you like to rub one out while watching something hot!

There is one downside to porn though. It can lead us to believe that the fantasies we see acted out on screen are what normal sex is like. And we now know that, in the absence of relevant sex information in schools or at home, porn is replacing or at least supplementing sexual education for young gay men (Kubecik et al 2010). Some young gay and bisexual men don’t know where to go to find out information about sex and in the absence of appropriate material will view porn. These websites can create a warped perception of male sexual activity and generally do not promote, endorse or inform the viewers about how to have safe sex in any way. With this in mind Get it On! decided to make a How to Have Anal SexVideo that celebrates the joy of gay sex, while at the same time normalising condom use.

Trying to base your own sex-life on porn is probably not such a good idea. Remember that these are actors, usually getting paid for sex. We don’t see what happens off-camera. Some of them use assistance drugs to stay hard for ages, soft cocks and unconvincing exchanges are edited out, and a lot of the guys are "gay for pay", just doing it for the bucks. Importantly, most of us are never going to look like a porn star, and our sex-lives won't be as wild as what we see online or on DVD, so don't use porn to set up impossible standards. Use it for fun.

There is a lot of bareback porn out there now too; guys of all ages, some still in their teens, fucking without condoms seemingly without any consideration of the consequences. A lot of porn is done by poor or vulnerableguys desperate for any cash they can get - it's exploitation pure and simple. Actors usually get paid more for going bareback – an enormous risk that, in the harsh light of day, doesn’t seem to make a lot of sense. Remember that just because you see it on screen doesn't mean you should copy it. There is a difference between reality and fantasy and you should make your own calls about just what you read, watch or enjoy.

Getting off is fun, whether it's by yourself or with others. If watching porn of some sort helps you have even better sex life, we say go hard.

About the Author:

Joe Rich is the Spokesperson of Get it On! Through Get it On! He is trying to encourage all gay and bisexual men to use condoms and lube every time they have sex. Get it On! is a community-focused, Social Marketing programme that aims to build a condom culture across New Zealand.

Contact Information:

Joe Rich

Senior Marketer

New Zealand AIDS Foundation

+64 9 300 6967

joe.rich@nzaf.org.nz