Consistent Boundaries Makes Discipline Easier

Posted by abelrichard on March 25th, 2020

Homes must be run by parents, not children. So many times, however, either the children are in charge or the parents are so wanting to be liked, that whatever rules and standards are discussed, few are enforced, especially on a consistent basis.

Children, whether they are two or 18, feel more confident when they know
that you, the adults, are in charge and that their environment is predictable and safe. They need to be taught what's right and wrong, what's acceptable and what's unacceptable, what's appropriate, and what's rude and out of place.

Though they will get mixed or conflicting messages from the television,
magazine, and friends, they require you to set and enforce clear, respectful rules and limits. They need to find out that you expect them to complete and be their best.

By giving this guidance you may help them learn to be responsible,
contributing members of society.

Consistency in discipline is the main element in successful families:
It is essential that love, respect, cooperation, and expectations are unconditional.

Consistent boundaries within the family are pretty predictable; as an example:

* They'll develop knowing that mom and dad got to know the 4 Ws
before they are allowed to leave with friends. WHO would be the friends,
WHERE are they going, WHAT are they doing, and WHEN will they be
home.

* A child can count on dinner coming to six o'clock or thereabout.

* They need to find out that bedtime is 8:30 on school nights and that
homework is done before playtime.

But sometimes in life, opportunities come up which makes boundaries and rules
flexible. A family member visits from out of town, so it might be okay for the youngsters to remain up till 9:30 one night to savor the experience. Rules can bend
occasionally, but if they get broken, we are all in trouble.

Provided that the family knows that in general, there's a structure that they'll count on and limits to what is accepted and what's not, they will flourish in a system that gives them guidelines and direction.

Consistent boundaries and standards give a child and the whole family a sense of security and safety. It's in this environment that self-discipline and life skills commence to flourish and develop.

When we, as a residential area in addition to a household, give consistent messages to your children concerning dangerous and unkind behavior, it will soon be easier to allow them to forgo the temptation to participate. It's our responsibility as adults to greatly help them learn and live by the essential rule that actions have consequences.

Those children who develop a practice of thinking about the connection will soon be in a position of strength. Their choices will soon be immeasurably easier to produce because they have been given a structure for decision-making.

Repair or rebuild the boundary, if necessary

I encourage you to be firm, consistent and kind in your discipline. It's vital to always follow through fence repair. Don't make threats make promises. For away TV privileges the very first time he doesn't take out the garbage, but ignore it the 2nd and third time, he will quickly learn that you don't always mean everything you say. The little one will learn to be described as a manipulator, and you'll still have the misbehavior to deal with. You are the adult, and
so it's your job to repair the fence when it is broken or stretched out.

Boundaries don't fence us in but alternatively, they allow us the freedom to grow and develop, knowing that people are safe and loved unconditionally. It's never a guessing game of what will happen but alternatively a positive foundation.

You can do it. I believe in you. You are doing the most important job in the world, raising self-disciplined, thoughtful and contributing children.