What Your Adopted Child Wants to Know

Posted by provplace on November 20th, 2013

Children are naturally very curious, and will ask many questions to try to understand the world around them. When you are ready to talk to your adopted child about their adoption he or she will probably have a lot of questions. They may ask you any number of questions, but there are a few universal facts they will probably want to know, such as who their birth parents are and where they are now. Being prepared to answer their questions can create a smoother and informative conversation.

When you tell your child they are adopted, or when they have intuited it for themselves, they will want to know who their birth parents are and where they came from. Where they were born may be especially interesting to them if you did an international adoption. It is very important to be honest and clear. If your child is still very young, they may not be able to understand the complexities of adoption yet, but they will understand it better as you talk with them more. Telling children about their adoption as the story of how they became a family reminds the adopted child they are part of a caring family who loves them.

Children will also usually ask why they do not live with their birth parents anymore. This can be a difficult question for adoptive parents because they want to make sure their child knows it is not because of something they did. Explaining their birth parents were not ready to be parents, while also reminding them they are loved and part of a family who is very proud of them can be comforting.

Another thing to keep in mind when talking with your adopted child is using positive language. For instance, if your child asks, "Who are my real parents?” correct them by using, "your biological parents." Another example would be, if they ask, "How did you become my adoptive parents?" answer by eliminating "adoptive" and using just "parents.” Talk to your child like the adoption has been done, instead of like it’s an on-going process; say, "was adopted" instead of "is adopted." This way your child will feel like he or she is now a genuine part of the family.

After trying your best to answer your child's questions, the best way to end the conversation is reassuring them they are part of your family and will always be loved. Families are created in many different ways and your child belongs in your family, even if the circumstances may not be the same as in other families.

Adopting a child is an important decision that requires careful consideration. Are you contemplating adoption, or are you already planning to adopt a child? Do you have any idea about how or where to start? Providence Place of San Antonio, Texas will guide you through the adoption process while making sure all your questions are answered. Contact us today to learn more about adoption and ways to get involved with our organization.