Why People FailPosted by Nick Niesen on October 26th, 2010 Some people don't really know what it is they want. Many define what they want by stating what they don't want. The result, they get exactly what they don't want. Why because instead of focusing on what they do want they are focused on what they don't want. I recently discovered this while having a disciplinary discussion with our eleven year old daughter. The discussion was about her behavior and why it is wrong. What's funny about this is we had this exact same discussion less than sixty days prior. During this discussion I realized that my daughter did not think she was doing anything wrong, she believed she was acting according to what was acceptable for an eleven year old. I had to think about this for a bit because she did not understand that it is not ok to misbehave. I got the idea to use an example and ask her what she thought about it. I said, "A person robs a bank, is caught and goes to jail. As soon as that person gets out they rob another bank is caught and goes to jail again. Gets out robs yet another bank and goes to jail. What do you think about this?" "There's a problem," was her answer. Then I said to her, "You are the person robbing the bank". The look on her face was utter devastation. I then explained to her that when she misbehaves it's like the person robbing the bank. The robber did not want to go to jail but that is what he/she got, exactly what they didn't want. That's what you get every time you misbehave; you get everything that you don't want. The logic was inescapable. If you focus on the things you don't want, you are going to get what you focus on. Now that might seem like it's backwards but in reality that is exactly what many people do and they don't understand why they continually get the results they get. Your mind attracts to you that which is the center of your focus. If your focus is on what you don't want you will get that which you focus on. While the above example is a bit extreme the point is you attract to you what you think about. My daughter said she was always thinking about not getting into trouble, what did she get? It is extremely important to be specific about what you want as well. It is not enough to say you want more money; you must be specific about the amount of more money you want. If you make $40,000 a year, your subconscious mind thinks that $40,001 is more money which it is and therefore you have reached your goal. Your efforts to get more fail because you're now thinking I don't want $40,001 I want more. If you want to lose weight, loosing 1 pound to your subconscious mind is achieving your goal, you lost weight. Now you might be thinking "I want to make more money and in the back of your mind more money means $50,000 a year, but all you say is more money. See the difference? You must be specific and say next year I want to make $50,000 or I want to lose 20 pounds in three months. You must know exactly what it is you want or you will fail to get it. How to make your dreams a reality. You must know exactly what it is you want. You must have a time frame in mind. Your desire must be measurable. Always write out your goals. Get a success partner. Evaluate your progress. Challenge yourself through adversity. You have a choice in what you get or don't get. You choose to have success or you choose to have failure. There is nothing in between the two except you. What you choose to think about will be what you get. Focus on failure and no amount of effort will bring you the success you desire. The thing to do is focus your mind on success. Like it? Share it!More by this author |