Never Forget?

Posted by Nick Niesen on October 27th, 2010

All relationships go over bumps in the road. The trick is knowing how to deal with them when they arise. One of the most common bumps that a relationship might have to jostle across is when one half of the couple ? OK, usually the male half ? forgets an important date, like a birthday or an anniversary. This can be a devastating development for the other half, but by learning to understand this situation, a couple can share many happy days to come.

Many of the problems couples have arise because they were raised in two different families and come into their partnership with different background and beliefs. The most likely reason for a partner to forget an anniversary or another important date is because they came from a home where special occasions were not all that important. But here?s where it gets complicated: women tend to think if a man forgets something special like an anniversary, it means he doesn?t care. So in that case, it is a strong possibility that somebody is going to feel hurt -- and often hurt leads to angry words. However, from the other point of view, they did not do anything to purposely cause hurt. They just didn?t see it as anything more than forgetting a date, and they might even feel insulted that their devotion and love were questioned.

For women afraid their man might forget an important date, let him know about a week or two before your anniversary, that your anniversary is, in fact, coming up. You can continue to help out by sending an e-mail with a countdown. If there?s a particular gift you want, let him know that as well. For guys who have trouble recalling a special occasion, (and you know it?s important to your partner), use technology to help you remember. Create reminders in your e-planner, e-mail accounts, calendars, etc. If you forget and she gets upset, don?t dismiss her feelings as silly or over-the-top hysterical. Instead, let her know that you understand that she is upset, and that you?ll be more aware in the future. And never forget, if you do mess up and forget about a special day, make it up. Plan a surprise date, doing something they have always wanted to do. Letting them know you are sincerely sorry is the best way of showing that you are doing your best to not forget those special dates.