How Women over 50 are Reinventing Themselves; One Woman?s Story

Posted by andreapop on September 18th, 2015

As both a psychotherapist and a woman over 50, I am especially interested in this phase of life, and how we can use this time to grow in new ways.

Jane is a client of mine who I’ll use as an example. She is 56 and initially came to see me for coaching. Her children had left home, her husband was more entrenched in his work than ever, and she didn’t know what to do next with her life.

I took Jane through a process where I asked her a very simple question: “What do you want?” She first said that she wanted a reason to get up in the morning.

When I asked her again, she said she wanted to do something that involved working with others and using her creativity. She also wanted to contribute financially to the family budget, so that some of the burden was relieved from her husband.

When I asked Jane what having that would do for her, she said that she would feel like she was making a contribution, and would feel good about herself using artistic skills that she hadn’t used in years.

It turned out that this wasn’t quite true, as Jane had a passion for painting furniture and had even shared this skill with some of her friends.

When I asked Jane again what she wanted, she now said she wanted to start a business refinishing furniture and teaching this to other women.

I then asked Jane what might hold her back from dong this. She said that she didn’t think she had a head for business and couldn’t imagine being a successful businesswoman.

As we explored this belief, I asked her to look at what was actually true about this. She said the truth was she didn’t really know if she could be successful because she had never tried. This was a limiting belief that was keeping her from taking a leap.

We continued to use this inquiry process and by the end of our work together, Jane was selling her furniture on Craigslist, teaching furniture-refinishing courses at her local community college, and had tied up with aninterior designer. She was feeling empowered.

I invite you to try this process on your own and see where it might lead. You may be surprised!

If you’d like to schedule a free 30-minute introductory session with Dhyan Summers, visit www.expatcounselingandcoaching.com and hit Book a Free Session on the homepage.